[quote] I don't expect her to ask me to join her and her friends at the mall but she has gone so far as to order me not to even talk to her friends when I drive them around because I am embarrassing. I find her behaviour not only difficult to deal with but hurtful and some days I don't know if I will be able to guide her through these teen years to the other side as a responsible,polite caring adult. [/quote]

Christine and Taryn...I too am dealing with teen angst amidst a divorce. My older three are all 16, 15, and 12. They are hard to read and harder to please. One day they'll be perfectly pleasant but as soon as something doesn't go their way or I try to make some demand on them, Betsy-bar-the-door!! :)

But Christine this stuck out to me. If my kids seriously told me this, it would be a LONG time before I drove them ANYWHERE. Common courtesy is not just for those best friends. Allowing her to treat you that way is not doing her any favors. Yes, I embarrass my kids, but they also know I love them and that I have feelings, too.

I am reading a book at the urging of my counselor for over a year. It's called Defiant Kids: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder by Dr. Douglas A. Riley. He points out that the term ODD scares many and it's more of a spectrum. My son is 15 and perfectly delightful with everyone but ME, his mother. With me, he's a little hellion! So, this is spot-on and I'm feeling hopeful that ths guy can give me helpful ways to deal with my son. I'll let you know.