I suddenly find myself in a similar situation. We have been divorced for 4 years and he always paid his child support on time. It was deducted from his paycheck and deposited directly in my bank account. He made very good money (well over $100,000 per year) and our children (now 18 & 14) benefited from it.

As of February 2008 he ceased paying child support. The state child support office became involved to garnish his wages. Then he recently became unemployed, so I only got one check from the state. My 18 year old daughter moved out a few months ago (long story) so my 14 year old son is the only child in the house now. Without bashing his father (which wasn’t easy) and getting into a lot of personal financial information, my husband and I sat him down and told him about the situation. It is a big lifestyle change for him-no more friends sleeping over because we can’t afford to feed the neighborhood, no summer camp, he has to cut back on his dirtbike riding because we can’t afford the gas, he is probably going to lose his cell phone-he understands but he is still a teenager.

We have a hearing later this month. My ex put in a motion to stop paying child support for our daughter because she moved out. I am fine with that because I am not supporting her either, but he hasn’t paid child support for both children in a year( he was only paying for one due to a custody dispute which he later dropped) and now he is not paying at all. Around the same time we (my lawyer and I) received notice of a hearing for his motion, my lawyer filed her own motion for contempt (non-payment of child support, alimony, & extraordinary/medical expenses plus he ignored a court order to provide income documentation in order to calculate arrears on child support-she also threw in legal fees for all the times she has had to bring forward contempt charges).

The court decided to hear my motion on the same date as my ex’s, so he actually did me a favor by putting in his motion. Otherwise I would have to wait for months to get a hearing date. When I got the hearing notice it stated in bold, capital letters he had to provide a valid reason why he was not in contempt (which he can’t) or he was facing incarceration. He can’t even put in for a continuance because he is the one who initiated the hearings. So, I think he will either come up with the money or not show up at all. He claims he is broke, yet last weekend when my son was visiting him they went out to eat twice, they took him and his friend with them when the went to play pool, and my son came home with a brand new pair of sneakers from Journey’s in the mall (not cheap). I bought him 2 pairs of shoes (Reebok pumps and skatershoes) when school started. Apparently, he wore out the soles of his skatershoes riding his dirtbike and didn’t want to tell me. I am pretty sure my ex will try to use the fact he bought my son sneakers against me in court (he probably took pictures-he has done it before).

I completely understand the art of scrimping. Fortunately my daughter is studying cosmetology, so she cuts my hair. The summer is going to suck. We have a boat which we can’t use because we can’t afford the gas. We have an inground pool which we will probably not be using because we can’t afford the electricity to run the pump. Hopefully it won’t be stinking hot because we can’t afford to run the AC. A vacation is out of the question. My son is growing like a weed which means he is always hungry. Both kids are graduating from their schools this year. For the longest time I wanted to have a big graduation bash. Now that isn’t going to happen. And to top it off we have my husband's 2 daughters EOW and 2 weeks in July, more mouths to feed...ARGH!

My family offered financial assistance. We reluctantly took it. I don’t see an end in sight for this mess.

Sorry to ramble…I feel your pain.