When will it stop????

I hope i am jumping the gun here... school office said two weeks ago it would be the last day of school.... 6/9.... the school website calender says 6/10

I am talking about 8th grade graduation/awards. Apparently happening the same time as court. Ex's nonsupport of his child has interfered in my life too many damn times. I do not have to be at court... not that it would be a choice.... I'mma be at graduation. I will talk to the caseworker and see if she can bump it to later in the day. It cannot be postponed because ex has been served.

I am tired of my life being effected by ex's stupid choices. I divorved him dammit!!! Yes, I know he is the father of my child... I have come to terms with him being in my life.... but I left because of his irresponsibility, drug use and immaturity (ironically he is 22 years older than me). Last night DH wanted to take me out.. all I wanted to do was mope at home with a few drinks. I was NOT good company. DH went to his 2nd job and I could have went along but I couldn't stand to be around myself... I knew I'd be a downer so I stayed home. Why does this man keep interfereing with my life? DH says I need to talk directly to ex.... to have it out with him. I am so afraid that if I were to start I couldn't stop.... I would say do things that would effect son. I work so damn hard at being neutral when it comes to ex and son's relationship.... Ex doesn't pay support but just this past weekend takes son to see iron man and buys him the AVP2 game. Son comes home saying how great his dad is.... I taste blood from biting my tounge... I wanna ask son.... so I'm not so great.... I keep aroof over your head, insurance, and food in your belly?!?!? But that is expected of me.... why isn't it expected of his father?

Yeah I am a momma... I do it because I love son, not for recognition or even a thank you. because I do not want to alienate son from father I spend most days with the taste of blood in my mouth and tears in my eyes and a great amount of anger at the situation. This high road sh!t is for the birds.