"He picks her up from school and I can't send her to school in the clothes that HE sends back (stained, too small, etc...)"

My daughters are now old enough to manage their stuff. If they can't find something to wear, we problem solve it together. I admit I've gone into these conversations thinking the good stuff was being hoarded at mom's house. I'm not sure that's really ever been the case. Laundry backups, changes of season and active and quickly growing children have been implicated more often.