If you're wondering why you just can't seem to make her happy this might be your answer.

Excerpt:
Most abusers lack empathy. They dehumanize and treat people like inane objects, extensions of themselves, or instruments to be played as they wish. Physical, psychological, verbal and sexual abuses are all forms of dehumanization and objectification. They view their victim as nothing more than a comfortable, old chair that can be easily discarded should it become uncomfortable. In other words, their level of comfort is their only concern and they will sell you down the river to hold onto that comfort.

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/f/abuse1.htm

Subtle Abuse-very good article
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0838/is_n65/ai_12694490
excerpt:
Rarely have I heard an individual say, "Yes, I am verbally abusive." Yet, so often people will say, "I'm just expressing my feelings." This is one way we have of granting ourselves the license to abuse.

Subtle abuse of this sort can lead to depression, chemical abuse, divorce, infidelity, gambling, drinking, suicide, smoking, overeating, even unhappiness. That's right, verbal provocations can cause a person to act nuts.

http://www.narcissism101.com/

excerpt:

has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes