Who cares if the men are embarassed to admit it or not. I am self supporting, and when I was dating at 40-something, I did not mind doing wallet biopsies on the men I dated, to make certain they were not dependent & looking for a sugar mama.

I think any adult, male or female, who can't find a way to live within thier means (assuming that their children's other parent is contributing to the children's expenses), is someone I don't wnat to have in my personal life. And if they're not embarassed about it, they've got a screw loose.

My parents invested lightly in a business startup I had. They got paid back with interest. I lived in one of their houses for a while after my divorce when they wanted someone to watch over it & I couldnt' handle both thiers & mine, but I paid market rent for it.

They didn't need the money, and I could have found a use for it, but it wouldn't be right to use them like that. My greatest joy would be to see them spending all their money to hire a cabin on a cruise liner full time & cruise the world for the rest of their lives, leaving thier heirs with nothing but smiles & memories... the best inheritance possible.

Your ex is dependent, and you're better off to be rid of him.