[quote]Hopefully this won't be too long. I'm married to a wonderful father that has a 4 yr old son. I started dating him the year his son was born, he hadn't heard from the mother so wasn't sure if he ever had a son. She told him she thought she was pregnant but he never heard from her after that. Almost a year after son was born, father gets sued for CS pending paternity. We had been dating for a year by this time. Right before son's 1st birthday, my DH sees him for the first time after paternity is established. EX then moves to N.C. because her husband is stationed there but deployed to Iraq for a year. After summer, she moves back here and allows DH every other weekend. No court order, just CS order.

A few months go by, DH sees his son off and on at her will. But this is more often than not because she doesn't work. Then she starts giving my DH trouble about seeing his son. DH files for custody/visitation. After paying an idiot attorney, we go for the court date, EX already has standard visiation papers (EOWE) drawn up by her attorney and DH's attorney tells him "this is the best you'll get from the judge, you better sign" DH does. AFter thats over, EX allows DH every other week summer visiation to go through summer until almost a year later. We love this and no one has problems, until she gets a new boyfriend (while married still). She starts wanting "her family" more time with son. takes every other week away for every other weekend again. Longer story short, she goes back and forth regarding visitation about every month, changing it. Son is now 4 years old and DH filed to modify custody. He wants full physical custody. DH and I got married in 2005, she is not married but dating. She has two kids with two different fathers, now pregnant with a third child with current bf. She shaves mohawks and puts color in son's hair, starting at age 2!! She's moved roughly 10 times in 3 years and mostly lives with family.

There is so much more detail and I'm sure I have really confused everyone so please ask many questions. Basically, we now have a trial date set and are willing to settle out of court with joint custody but only if DH is primary parent. What evidence should we bring to the table? We have letters from her that are threatening DH about visitation with son so we hope they help. Any adivice for evidence would be great. Or any advice on schedules would be great. [/quote]

You haven't posted anything that a judge would consider grounds for changing the status quo.