First question, since the divorce is her fault (infadelity), does that mean I would get more from the settlement, or would it be 50-50 ("equitable") still?

>>>>>>>>>>>> Equitable doesn't mean 50/50 . Generally , the spouse that makes less would receive more . Fault can sometimes be a (small) factor in distribution .

Second question, When is the best time and what is the best way to serve my wife?

>>>>>>>>>>> Depends , do you want to cause maximum embarrassment ? Check out "the list " on the forums at dadsdivorce.com and "get your ducks in a row ". The emails would , most likely , not be admissable in court .

Third question, When should I let "his" wife know? I can't wait for that one! :-)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I wouldn't go there .