Good. Look your house up on Zillow. If it's got the value as higher than your mortgage, expect her to maybe consider an appraisal, but if the value is below your mortgage costs, consider showing it to her. That might satisfy her on one fo those isseus.

On the pension, they just need a court ordered QDRO... it's kind of automatic unless the numbers are so low that it's not worth the time it takes to draft. I don't think that's going to be your case though. You've probably got enough to make it worth it. She gets a half of whatever portion of the pension was vested between the date you married and the date you served her with the divorce papers... FOR THAT REASON... whatever you choose to do on alimony, make certain it ends as of the date of your expected retirement. Don't dare use language like "permananent"... I've actually heard of peopel having a hard time retiring because their ex got half the retirement pay and STILL was expecting to get the alimony... so be very careful about promising that.