Reading your story broke my heart. I cant say that I have any experience with a marriage in the military (as my exhusband was already discharged when we married) but I can relate the the pain you are feeling.
A husband not contacting his wife for almost a year, anyway you put it, is NOT right or acceptable. A husband/wife should want to be together and he should have made the move to be with his family.
I wish you luck with your decision. My advice would be to see how things go when you return, and explain to him your feelings.