Brashaw,

I am no expert on military law as it pertains to separation and divorce. Here is a link that might give you some useful information. http://usmilitary.about.com/od/divorce/a/divorcelaws.htm

From what little I have read, it may be to your advantage to somehow get the funds to start at least a legal separation if not divorce.

One of the reasons that is listed on that link is how your military retirement is affected, depending on the amount of time you are married.

You said that there is no legal separation and she is telling you what you must pay. I would question how she came to that $$ amount and I would also be hesitant to pay money that has not been legally spelled out, as it may well be looked upon as a gift.

Information needed is length of marriage. I see that you indicated no children, so no child support.

Based on the number of years you have been married, is part of the formula the court will use when deciding what amount of spousal suppport you may have to pay.

So the longer you stay legally married, with no start of divorce, you are just adding to the formula the court will eventually use if you are ordered to pay any spousal support at all.

I hope the link helps you. I am sorry you are going through this. You also did not mention if you both live in the same state or are now residing in different states, and which state is your state of legal residence.

Good Luck!