Ok if they (the service member) gets bha (or whatever the hell they are calling it these days)based on having dependants, regardless if you have children or not, you as the spouse are entitled to that money as long as you are still married. The military legal will not get involved in divorce as far as representing anyone. They do however have to help enforce the laws. No spouse of any active duty service member should ever be left penniless if the service member is getting dependant bas or bha (housing money) If you are not getting anywhere with the command stop beating yourself against the wall and contact legal, and jag and your congressmen if necessary. By the way adultary is a punishable offense by the uniform code of military justice. It is hard to prove, but do able.Document everything, make copies and keep a spare in a safe deposit box. Hope that helps some of you.