Jen2008!

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I know how difficult it must be.

Almost 1 year later after hearing the tragic news that he wanted a divorce... I am happy to say that we were able to work things out.

Long story short....(Deep Breath) I moved overseas and was with him for about 4 months. Those 4 months were a true nightmare! We tried counseling. He said "NO!" And a million and one other things to try to make it work and he said No to all of them bc he simply didn't want me. So, enough was enough. I fought, I lost. He did the ERD papers and I came back to the states. While in the States we tried to make it work but.... it was just too late. He had done so much damage and I was hurting so much. By this time I feared and hated him with all my guts.

He sent me the divorce papers.... I cried one last time and decided to file. The day I was supposed to take them to court to file.... he called. He wanted to work things out. Now it was my turn no say, "No, I don't want you. I'm better off without you." And I honestly was better off without him. So I told him to convince me and to fight for me the same way I had fought for him. But that I couln't promise him anything.

Well, guess what? He did. He changed so much, which only proofs to me that he did have PTSD. There is no other explanation to the irrational behavior he had before. So he fought for me. He was patient and he put up with all my crap and my rejections towards him. It was all worth it bc he won my heart back.

He is not the same person I once knew and fell in love with, he is a much better one now. We have better communication and learned to appreciate each other more. And I am learning to trust and love him more and more as the days go by.

I am now in the process of going back overseas to be with him. And looking forward to starting our family. I do worry at times at what tomorrow will bring. What if things dont work out? What if I end up here a couple of years down the road? I guess is a risk I am whilling to take. For now, I can only live one day at a time and enjoy today. I'll deal with tomorrow.... well.... whenever tomorrow comes.

I now look back and wonder, how did I make it through? And yes, I made it thanks to the support and love of many people from this forum...(you know who you are.) Specially while I was overseas. Thanks everyone!

As for you Jen2008, hang in there. I know it's painful. But eventually the pain gets better as time goes by. I'm here for you, if there is anything I can do to help.

Best of Luck!