The deal is I was done with college and had a job when we met and he was still in college with two years to go. I supported us during that time. When he graduated, we had two of the four kids, and I was not making enough to put two kids in day care and continue working, and he got a decent job right out of college, so I quit my job, but got rehired three months later in a partially work at home position which I held for 8 years while we lived in MN. My husband, however, got laid off a couple of times, so we felt we needed to move elsewhere for him to get some better experience. At that point, I obviously gave up my job to move and was not able to find another one that worked with the now four kids, two being an infant and a toddler, so for two years, I had no income, and he was very stingy and controlling with the money, so anything I needed or he would not buy for me or the kids when he was angry which included food, clothes, school supplies and expenses, personal hygiene products, etc., I had to pay for with a credit card. After two years, I finally got a job doing transcription online, but by then, I was only making just enough to pay the credit card bills (he, surprisingly, paid my credit card bill those first two years) but I still was not making enough to pay for anything else, so hence, still used the credit card. I am now, just recently, making enough to pay the credit card bills and enough to not have to use them anymore and I am in the process of paying them down. Not a good situation, I know, but when he refused to buy food for us for two weeks at a time when I was not working at all, what else was I supposed to do? I was hoping to stay with this man until I paid down the credit cards, and also, my oldest son is going to be a senior next year and graduating and the next child is 14 with the last two being 10 and 7. I was hoping to remain in this relationship until the first two are 18 and on their own and the younger two are 15 and 12. I know this man will battle me for child custody and he is very cruel. He does not really care about the children, but to hurt me, he will fight me for them. I would rather have at least some of them of legal age before I leave. However, at this point in time, I don't know if I can handle living with this jerk anymore.