E-mail stbx to see if he wants the house put up for sale. If you cannot afford it and there's not going to be enough support to maintain it, you'll probably have to sell it & go into something smaller, anyways. Better get a start on it now before nasty things like foreclosure & other things start happening... you'll get more equity out of it if you sell it before "forclosure" or "sale ordered by divorce judge" show up on the MLS.