A. Family Court judge failed to order to stop child support payments at child abuse hearing that substantiated emotional abuse against mother. My son is in legal custody of the State of NJ. I have just moved back to NJ recently. Mother of my child had moved to PA one month before the substantiation. Placement has been with MaternalGM since the Mothers move to PA. Prior to Jan, I had only had time with my son 4 times in 20 months for a total of about 24 hrs. This block was due to Mother moving, lying, hiding, preventing- you know the stories many people have experienced and told here.

1. Do I just go to family support unit in the county and show the order and they will have a form to divert the child support to the MGM?

2. Do I leverage my lawyer and he files a motion to just stop it?

B. Second issue to try to keep one thread:

My son's mother did not show up for her one hour a week (supervised by DYFS) visitation Monday of this week. She has only seen him 4x since May 3rd

Yesterday morning to distract from the fact her dghtr did not show up, the MGM created schedule conflicts on the 4 days of my parenting time I have without discussion. I did not take her bait and just went back to the agreement and called DYFS. The MGM also made statements to the DYFS case worker earlier this week that my son has been saying I have told him I am taking him back to WA. I know better to never discuss that with anyone but my fiancée at home at this unstable and tumultuous time for my boy. I do intend to file a motion to move us back to WA once there is more time for stabilization and I have full legal and physical custody from DYFS.

Later in the day yesterday, my son hit a child and he was suspended. A year ago, he threatened suicide. May this year on his 10th birthday, he threatened to kill another child. Previously, DYFS would not substantiate for months until the counselor at school decided to go to the extreme and just called an ambulance May when my son threatened to kill another. His extreme terror of the wrath from his mother finally got the judge and DYFS to substantiate the case.

His school counselor today said my son seems to be over whelmed by the constant DYFS services and their visits to the MGM home. He has (4 services a week) that started in January. This is the 4th case but first one substantiated since Dec of 2005. The only respite my son has is 3 of the 4 days he is with me. We go to counseling 1 time a week. No one comes to my home. ( We now go to church and he is learning to like it. Me too after 10 yrs absent. ) Counselor also stated my son is afraid I will move back to WA and leave him. I think the MGM unstable home situation (adult talk he overhears as well as M and MGM on phone) and then the transition to living with me 4 days a week is confusing as well as a contributing stressor for my son.

We do have a sometimes-vague DYFS services plan. There is a Child Placement Review Board (CPRB) hearing, then 30 days later a compliance hearing to revisit the services and placement / custody of my son. All standard procedures.

1. Is compliance just a matter of checking boxes or are there any real consequences for the mother not following through? ?
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2. How much does the mother with NPD HPD Pathological liar per the evaluators report have to make bad decisions as she is doing until DYFS turns over all custody to me? ?

3. How and whenever does DYFS every leave me alone after his abuse has been substantiated? I was not the abuser yet I am under scrutiny. ??

4. Advice for CPRB to persuade them to recommend placement with me? Judge ordered this but no follow through. No one from DYFS has been to my home at any time.

5. Can CPRB change DYFS order to not leave state with son to visit family? I am not the abuser – the MGM can take son out of state though.

Any stories/experience with DYFS much appreciated.