My stbx and I tried mediation, and in my experience it's worthless if you and your husband are in agreement. If not, then I would suggest you do see a mediator or lawyer. If you are in agreement, you can download a divorce settlement agreement from the internet, which is what we did. We basically agreed on mostly everything so we did it ourselves.

Here is a website that has an example that you can copy and paste onto a word document and fill out.... http://www.ilrg.com/forms/divorce-nc-setag/us/nj just copy the sample they have. That's what we did. It does have to get notarized which will be a few bucks.

Don't feel that you have to be forced to agree to anything you don't feel comfortable about. You might want to take the agreement to a lawyer before signing if you don't feel comfortable with it. Fill it out, have the lawyer look it over and then sign it. Lawyer fees would probably run you about $150 to have him look over the papers.

Once that is done, you can file for divorce. I did go to the Court to get the papers, but nothing fit my situation and I didn't want to get anything wrong, so my stbx went to a lawyer to have him file for divorce. I believe he said it was about $700 but I don't trust what he says so I don't know. I know filling in NJ is about $250.

Now that's when it got complicated for me, because his lawyer didn't send the papers correctly when I got the summons. So that made me have to get my own lawyer, $1500 retainer fee for him. But it seems that things are on their way right now. I'm waiting for a court date and a few things that I have to send my lawyer this week.

I hope this helps you. You can PM me if you have any questions.

Sorry you are going thru this, but hang in there.