If it's not ordered , he has no legal obligation to pay anything . If you want spousal support and can't reach an agreement in mediation , you'll have file for divorce and seek post-separation support ( not alwys a given in NC BTW ) . If you wish to receive SS , be SURE not to engage in any marital misconduct ( adultery ) yourself as it can terminate your eligibility for an award . Does your STBX have a pension plan , 401k or IRA ? You're eligible for share of any retirement benefits your spouse has .