I was left after 16 years. I have 2 children also. You are in for a fight. Roll up your sleeves and get it over with as soon as possible. Get yourself and kids into counseling. This is a miserable event. I knew nothing of my stbx having an affair for the last 11 years. I just cound out 2 months ago and he asked for a divorce 10 months ago. This is a rollercoaster ride from hell. I don't wish it on anyone. Hang in there. post, rant, ask advice here. It helps alot.