"tysm...i'm trying the best i can... today i have come to the realization that it is really over this time...and it freakin' hurts so bad...i can't stop freakin' crying... why did he do this to us? he doesn't even love her...he told me that he knows it won't last for her and that maybe someday if our love is strong enough we'll get back together...BULLSH*T!!!!!!! i will never forgive him for what he has done to us and our kids...let alone take him back after being with that nasty druggie home wrecking [censored]... "

Look in the mirror. Who ALSO looked for something else when their husband was neglecting them. There's no point in calling the OW names. Your husband is just as deserving of them and so are you.

Don't blame this on him. You are also at fault. Get on with you lives now. You've both destroyed it.

If you really want to work things out now, it's near impossible.
One, HE has to want it as much as you. And only HE can make that decision.
Two, you've both lost all trust in each other. ANY relationship from here is one built on LACK of trust. That's a VERY hard relationship to have. Maybe not even worth it.

I'm not a supportor of divorce. You shouldn't have looked elsewhere, and neither should have your husband. But you both did, and now it's all f**ked up.

There may not be any fix.

It's just too sad.

But stop whining about the OW. You didn't have a problem with looking elsewhere...

EDIT: For the sake of your 4 children though, you really should try counseling at the very least. Make sure he realizes what he's dragging his kids through. They don't deserve this from you two.