ap: you sound very much like my husband...he feels the loss of his older kids too...and he has resentment for that...he feels in a way maybe they up andleft because my kids were now in the mix and my husband's total attentin was no longer on them and their needs...they were 14, 15 and 16 when I met my husband and they too were totally spoiled...the two oldest are girls and they did NOTHING to help my husband out unless he paid them...how whacked is that...a single guy raising 4 kids working a full time job and he has to pay his own kids to help him out...they trashed the apartment and ran the roads...they disrespected him at every turn...and the sad part is my husband was a great dad...he gave them everything...but they got used to getting stuff and when he stopped giving they stopped caring...and talk about LAZY...all 4 of his kids are lazy...because he never gave consequences for anything...but anyway just realize you are not the only step parent in a tough situation...it comes down to how much do you truly love your wife and how much are you willing to tolerate in the name of this love...good luck...(: