I think the equality thing goes not only in step-families, but in families (like mine) where I have two siblings that are a lot younger than me (10 and 16 years younger). My parents could not afford any college for me, but they are already saving for my brothers. I don't resent them for it, and I want them to be very successful.

I also am facing the "equality" issue, because my SS is the same age as my youngest brother. I'm having a hard time changing my role of big-sister where I can spend a lot of fun days with my younger brother (slumber parties filled with pizza, ice cream, movies, etc.) to Step-Mom. I realized how much I let my brother get away with b/c my mom was the one doing the discipline, and now I am enforcing rules that I didn't with my brother because, well, I was the fun big sister.

We are all learning, though, right? I'll get there someday. *sigh*