Contact a lawyer, bring your income and his, child care costs and information about any property or debts that the two of you have (property including real estate, cars, furniture, bank accounts, retirement accounts, stocks).

The lawyer will let you know if you qualify for alimony and what child support might look like.

I found that out about a boyfriend years ago (not married no kids)... and I can't even imagine what you're going through. It was tough enough on my ego for not being married to him. I had a friend join the single's network and approach him online. Within 24 hours, the man was sending lewd messages to this friend and tried to set up a nooner with her on a day he told me he was out of town on business adn woulnd't be returning till the evening (when we had a date). When settign up his nooner, I had my friend give him MY WORK phone number (that he didn't know becasue I always use my cell). When he called to finalize the details and heard my voice at the other end of hte line, he tried to laugh it off, claimed he knew it was me and was just playing me... but the initial shock in his voice when he heard me answer... it was obvious he'd been busted.

What I couldn't get was that even though he'd been busted, even though it was obvious, he wasnt' getting a date with the hot blonde he'd been in contact with on the internet, and his girlfriend had caught him trying to cheat... he kept trying to find ways to explain it to me, like what, I was STUPID? He said it was a first time (I DO believe that, it's not like he was the hottest fish in the sea), and he'd not ACTUALLY cheated on me yet. Well... he didn't get it, the fact that he was ON the internet LOOKING... that he was saying trashy things to a perfect stranger behind my back and acting like he had no girlfriend... that was the problem. He wasn't EVER going to be SUCCESSFUL at this attemtp to get an internet date, at least not with MY hot blonde friend. But that didn't matter and he didn't get it.

That day, I had a personality test done (I've had lots of them, background checks, fingerprints, personality tests, drug tests... it's a job-related thing, lots of clearances from time to time)... and I came up as depressed... DUH... so I explained to the baby psychologist doing the testing that I'd just broken up with a boyfriend that morning after finding out that he was on the internet looking for a date... stupid psychologist suggested xanax or some other such nonsense! For heaven's sake, I was RIGHTEOUSLY angry and upset at the moment of the testing, not needing any drugs to get me through it, just time and the ability to THINK (and drugs would have taken that away from me for gosh sake!) In a few days (it was a dating thing, not a marriage) I got over it... but GRRR!

The ANGER and HURT of the few hours after you find something like that out... it just can't be equalled. I wish you well. Check with a lawyer.

Or... at least let us know some of the details... kids? Jobs? houses? We can help maybe if we know some of the sitaution.

I know how your ego feels right now and I