Hello:

I'm in my mid 30s, and my wife is a couple years older. This is my second marriage, and my wife's first. We met in university and have dated on and off for some time during our university days, and stayed in contact over the years. Last year, we both decided that we would like to marry, have a family, and live happily ever after. We never developed strong romantic feelings for one another, but had a solid friendship based on trust, respect, and honesty.

I disclosed my health problems prior to agreeing to marry, but now she sees them as a real concern that is going to negatively affect our life together. I have had a number of surgeries to correct injuries sustained in an automobile accident back in high school. During a 15 year period I underwent a number of surgeries to my back, shoulders and knees, with rehabilitation, etc. As a result, I have been rather stout most of my adult life, and suffer from arthritis in my joints, as she sees these too as a problem for our life together.

So, she went into this rather dark period of serious deliberation, and then announced to me that she wants to divorce because she "doesn't want to be with a man with a 60 year-old body" nor married to someone "obese." Since our marriage of 4 months beagan, I've lost 60 pounds, been working out daily at the health club, restricted myself to a low-calorie diet, and sought employment in a new city (I moved to where she was living at her request.)

Should we give marriage counseling a try, or just end it and move on with our independent lives by divorcing?

I recommended counseling, because I want us to at least give this marriage a chance to work. She is willing to try marriage counseling, but had said she's "not going to change her mind about me." Naturally, I'm pretty hurt by what I think are pretty insensitive comments and behavior, but I do understand that she feels burdened to be married to someone with aches and pains, and obese. Neither of us have children, and we both have professional careers. What should we do?

I'd really appreciate *ANY* advise from the readership here.