My husband and I have been married for five years. Five days before our second child was born, he decides that he wants to leave...the only reason he could give being (at that time) that he wanted to be able to do what he wanted when he wanted (although he already did that during our marriage) without being judged. Naturally, I looked for answers...I've always had his email [censored], so I checked his [censored] and found an email from a woman he works with saying she'd "missed him alot" and "I'll be thinking of you..." so I called both him AND her to find out what was going on. Nothing other than she "has a crush" on him and thought he had one on her. That night he left me, 9 days after our son was born. The only reason he can give me that it won't work is that he doesn't love me, and supposedly hasn't loved me for the last 3 years (which makes no sense, because he was extra clingy right before this happened). He's got the papers and is filing for divorce. I've been devastated, and until a month ago, hadn't yelled at or cussed him at all, because I thought we could work it out. After he kept saying that he didn't want to work it out, he didn't want to come back, I finally started venting on him. Personally, I feel he deserves it, after everything I've done for him. He got mad at me when he found out I had seen a lawyer, and is now telling me that HIS lawyer says he can get joint custody, even though he has trouble paying his bills and has no stove or washer or dryer, and is living in the house his parents own but don't live in (which they've already kicked him out of once, while we were married and living there), and that if he GETS joint custody, I'd have to pay HIM child support since I make more money than he does. He's threatened me that if he has to get a lawyer he's going to get everything he can out of me. He's mad because I told him (before the blackmail started) that I wasn't going to sign, he was going to have to wait a year. I need help/advice. I go see my lawyer again tomorrow to find out what she says. I'm just so torn up about this...I never would've thought he'd be like this. All I've done to him since this happened is yell, telling him how hurt I am, how wrong this is, and that I wouldn't sign papers. I have done NOTHING vindictive, although I very easily could. I've let him see the kids any time he's wanted to since he left. I think I've been more than patient and understanding, and he's blackmailing me now. Help!