This sounds stupid but if i tell her i want her out of my life, she will be living here for the intervening months and I know she will have a hard time with me still treating her civilly. See the problem is i still do, and will be doing everything for my disabled wife until the time she leaves. She has no local support, closest is 250 miles away.

I think it will be very hard for her to accept that i'm simply fed up with things and her not trying to quit smoking, call doctors, get better etc. She will try to blame A B C on it and it could go into a pissing match but i wont let it, i see no value to it. And i fully believe life will go on with us just sitting there watching tv every night etc. So should i help both of us get through it, assuming i try to do this, and be mean to her so it gives her rationale for the divorce? I know it sounds cold but in a perfect world id just tell her i think we'd be great friends but i dont love her like a wife anymore. She does know i dont look at her as a wife, told her that last week in therapy. So i think none of this will be a surprise to her but she's just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I feel guilty about abandoning her but ive tried my best for 7 years. My resolve in life is so drained by her.