I wish I hadn't even posted today, nothing I said came out right. It sounded horrible but really I didn't mean that I was just going to sit around and expect the ex to come up with any more money and things. I've just been having one of the worst days of my life and that is what came out in the post about how unfair this whole mess is. How I'm here cleaning up the mess he left behind that is all I meant by it. I'm sorry to anyone who reads it and things that I'm just lazy and expecting everyone else to pick up the tab. you're right, I'm scared to death. When I get scared I get mad, but I do get moving. I'm finishing school next week and I have already looked into who is hiring in the area I want to work, next few days will be resumes flying all over town. I'm really sorry guys, should have worded that whole post differently. I was just sooooo upset today and it was another day of why did he leave me? I tried so hard to make him happy and be there for him and the kids. but oh well, I guess what came out was a rant about money. I'm really not a greedy person believe me, I grew up very,very poor and maybe that is what I'm afraid of, afraid that my kids will grow up that way too and it's a hard life without running water in the house. again, sorry, didn't mean the post to sound so bad. and I'm not afraid of hard work, I've had my share of it before I was fortunate enough to stay at home