Hey, no problem. I kind of knew that didn't sound a whole lot like you and more like venting.

It really helps when you start feeling overwhelmed if you stop and figure out what your next step needs to be. JUST ONE STEP. And then when you start feeling sad, figure out that as bad as it can be, you will NOT be out on the streets. And when you start feeling hopeless, TAKE the next step that you've worked out for yourself.

Taking action, thinking it through and knowing what's next, thinking it through and knowing that the worst is REALLY not as bad as your worst nightmares might be... THOSE are the ways to keep this stuff under control.

You WILL be OK. REALLY.

But DO figure out what your next step will be. Figure out how to be self-sufficient if you can and then if he pays support, that will be above your minimum needs and will either provide some luxuries or some savings on top of your bare bones budget...