then don't take it. It is your choice to allow this man in and out of your life. If you allow this behavior he isn't going to have to make a descion on whether or not he wants to remain in this marriage. And remember you have a choice too. You can say make up your mind, you can allow him to yo-yo in and our of your life or you can say no more. As to why... I can't answer that, but if its worked for him so far, he may feel you allow it, so why not.