We've been married over 20 years and there has been abuse but would be hard to prove. I don't feel that I can go through all of that with the fighting and each of us providing evidence on the other. Don't know if he would want to go through the ordeal or not. I feel that in the best interest of the children all of this should be left out of the determining factors in the divorce. I know that some get so caught up in the anger and hurt that they tend to use the children for leverage and I've never wanted to see my children used like this so I've put off the inevitable because of this. But I'm so lonely and want closure so I can have what I've missed out on as far as a wonderful relationship with another for so many years.