Disappointed,

I am so sorry for your situation. However the previous posters are right in regards to stopping the divorce, you cannot stop it only your STBX can. And having had 3 divorces prior, it doesnt seem that this man knows much of what he wants, and a girlfriend with a child also. Im sorry to say it Disappointed, but this man seems like a serial adulterer; honeslty I wouldnt be surprised to find out that he is having an affair now also.

I know how much it hurts, and how much pain you are in. I know you dont want this to happen and you wish it was different, back the way it was. The fact is that you husband has some serious issues, and that is not something you can change, only he can. The only person you have control over is yourself.

As far as the debt, let your lawyer handle that. They will asses values and debt ratios and they try to divide it evenly, perhaps more to him since you are disabled, im not sure.

The judge will not order you to conceling instead of divorce, unfortunately only one person needs to want a divorce for it to happen. And no, you will not get permanent spousal support. The judge is not going to care about "he said / she said" kinds of things, judges like facts, period, nothing more. They dont have the time to listen to arguing and bickering.

Right now take the time to focus on you, think about what you can do, how you can better yourself, what you are going to do to improve yourself and your life for YOU. IF amidst all of your self improvement and moving forward in your life your husband decided to turn a new leaf, then you deal with that if it happens. But for now you cant live your life hoping that will happen, you have to live your life for you and your son.

I am quite certain that your husband didnt leave you becuase of your son, so please first and foremost do not ever think that or lead your son to believe that. Its just not true. And if your son moved out soley becuase of that, please let your son know that you do not feel that way or believe it and that he is welcome anytime he wants, that ultimately he is more important than your STBX.

Fear is crippling, dont let it control you. Take a deep breath and realize that you have a life to live, you have a son that needs you. Things are going to be ok for you, and you are going to be ok, you can and will get through this.