I understand that you are frustrated, but if you do choose to love your spouse, you must never give up. Give space, yes (that is what I am trying to do with my wife) - however, anything worth having is worth fighting for!

I am not sure what the thread in life after was referring to. I know that just very recently I have been enlightened to the fact that love is not just some feeling that happens (that we have it or we don't) - rather, it is a conscious choice that we all make. It is the same as choosing to be mad or indifferent about something. Life is a series of choices. If you choose to love your spouse, you must choose to give her the time needed to "figure out what she wants".