inafog
(New)
05/12/08 10:01 PM
24.119.202.125
hating it

2 weeks ago my wife and i separated... she told me she she needed space to figure things out for herself.. to find herself again.. we have been together for 9 years and yesterday married for 6...throughout our entire relationship kids and life has come before us and at some point we were just there...i started falling asleep on couch most nights.. i am a very controlling person and really when i look back have kind of kept her in a bubble.. she honestly has tried to communicate with me over things that bothered her but i wouldn't listen or i would in a way tell her she didn't feel that way... i'm not saying everything is my fault but i can see that it would be hard to have feelings for someone that acted that way towards you... she told me a week ago that she hasn't missed me like she thought she might.. however we still see each other everyday because of our children.. we went on a date last friday and she was SO affectionate towards me..she had a lot of fun... then she went out with her friends on Saturday...she didn't come home til after five a.m.... i had stayed over there because one of the kids were sick... i was up almost all night wondering and pacing....where she was at... when she got home i blew up...where the f...k have you been? at first she said that she went to breakfast with her friends and then took them home... i said that doesn't take three and a half hours to do... then i got outta her that her and her friends went to a guys house...she wouldn't tell me who...so i got even more upset and grabbed her cell phone.. in there i her telling someone "my soon to be x"... i was devastated...more devastated because she has been telling me she doesn't know what she wants and then to find that... well i blew up and said i can't take it any more and told her we should file... she agreed... today we met for breakfast and talked for two hours because we need to be civil and put our differences aside for the kids... for the first time in 9 years she showed emotion.. the kind that i have been yearning for for so long.. the kind that made me think does she really want this? i love this woman so much and over the last couple of months have really realized how much... i don't want to be without her... is there any coming back from this? is there a chance that maybe she doesn't want it? is there a chance that she is still confused about what she wants? there is so much more to this story but this is it in a nutshell... just kinda babbling...but needed to talk for i sit in a room at my fathers in the dark... in pain...crying..angry...lost...


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