I can identify with alot of what you are saying here. I am sitting here in the middle of the night writing to my husband and telling him I want out. I don't know that anything can be done for us and I have lost hope. I know your pain as I am feeling it too. I do know that when it is over for you it will feel more calm, that is what i am feeling now. I have tried for the last ten years to hang on, we have been married 25 just this last week. There is no good way to say its over and there is no good time. I hope you can see your way through this, maybe just knowing someone else feels your pain may help.