We just have your side of the story. But assuming everything you have said is true, it sounds as if your husband has anger management issues, for one thing. And the part about his female friend, that's an emotional affair that often can lead to much more. It's toxic to a marriage. I'd agree that counseling could help IF both parties actually want help. It will do no good if he's not willing. Then you have a choice, neither of them good ones. Stay and put up with his BS and raise your child in a two parent home. Or leave and be a single parent ( or shared custody ). I hope for your sake he sees the light.