You are totally right. We are never working at a solution. It's become more about winning than anything. My dilemma: even if I want counseling and want to try to make things work, when do you say, "enough is enough?"

I grew up in an abusive home where my parents were always fighting. I used to sleep under my bed every night. . .

I love my children more than anything. When I see how this is hurting them, I feel like the worst thing that I can do is to go back for more.

I got into this marriage because I thought I didn't deserve better. Maybe I didn't, but my kids do. Maybe "breaking the cycle" starts right now. How else can I send a message that this kind of relationship is not OK? I sure wish someone would have sent me that message as a child!