So now the legal separation started June 12 and STBXW bought her own house and moved out last weekend - about 5 miles away. She has her freedom and independence at last.

We have a 2.5yo daughter together and joint shared custody.

I've learned since this process started in January, my STBXW the reasons for her actions as she sees it.

1. I could never understand the kind of love she needed (I do now, though not sure if any one could ever satisfy her wants)
2. We were never even friends
3. I never understood her emotional, spiritual, and phsycal needs. (she never told be what they were - I had to figure it out for myself - Now I understand more after doing a lot of soul searching and spiritual reading)

Despite her current beliefs - I think there is a miracle of hope that we can start from scratch and re-build some sort of relationship - maybe not the same as a marriage...

Now that everything is settled and I have given her everything in the process (lump sum to buy a house, child support, freedom, etc). She now wants to be civil/friends for our daughters sake. After all of the aweful things she has siad and done to me over past 5 months I am in anguish angry and hurt - she never gave a glimmer of hope that divorce isn't emminent 365 days from then.

Yes we need to be friendly for our daughters sake. But
Part of me thinks being friendly would give my STBXW exactly the last things she wants - justification and verification that she did the right thing by getting separated becasue it will be best for our daughter. I disagree wholeheartedly - our relationship wasn't so bad that it would hurt our daughter and it would be best for our daughter to grow up in a home with both parents.

Yet maybe if we are friendly, it would give us something to build on over the next 12 months. Yes I know I need to build up myself, etc. Is it also possible that if we can cooperate and not argue over the next 12 months that our marriage can be repaired - or at least give it an attempt... I truly believe that the 12 month separation is specifically designed to provide breathing room, to be apart, see what its like, whether apart is better or worse - etc.

Of course, It could all be a lie - she could be in love with someone else... but of course she could learn this guy is a jerk...

Anyway, despite the odds, I do not want to give up hope that some miracle is possible... so my only course of action seems to be to continue to give her what she wants and be friendly and see if anything comes of it...