Sunday night my STBX and I were drinking together. She was apparently more intoxicated than I was and the angry came out.

If you look at my "sleeping on the couch" post, you'll see the messed-up situation I've put us in.

Anyway, regular conversation turned ugly when she started referring to the OW as a c..t and comparing her to my dad's companion, who is a horrible woman. She pulled out all the stops to say things to hurt me and basically make me feel like a monster.

I bit back a little, but she has every right to be angry and this is the first explosion since I confessed to my infidelity.

I already feel like a monster and a rotten S.O.B. so I let most of it wash over me and let her have her say.

The next day, she apologized and asked if I was still angry at what she said. She also said she doesn't remember much of what she said.

I told her I was not angry. I told her I was hurt. She seemed surprised that she hurt me.

I wonder, is there anyone out there who is in my situation. I see a lot of posts from the betrayed. I'd like to see perspective from the betrayers.

Is there a different forum that I can post in where this subject would be relevent?

I'm not looking for sympathetic people. I am just looking for people who may be ending a marriage because they found someone else. I'd like to know how they deal with the guilt and pain of hurting someone they promised to love and cherish.