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liberated
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(Platinum)
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07/04/08 09:03 AM
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70.114.234.154
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Measure of a man...
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So, I didn't want to hijack Weatherman's touching post about men and their children's birth but it got me to thinking. This is one of those "measure of a man" issues. My ex spent most of our first birth reading the paper in the corner. He missed the second one, his first son, altogether because he was out of town and it wasn't convenient for him to be there. The third one, he made business phone calls for church for most of. I don't even remember his presence at #4 and #5, although I know he was there. He did hold my hand at the very end, and I am grateful for that but for most of it, he was uninterested and just passed the time. I know he loves his kids and he said he loved me, but he sure never learned how to show it.
I love to read about the love these men here have for their children.
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Re: Measure of a man...
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I know y guys do that, but....
Can't tell ya.
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Re: Measure of a man...
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For my only birth, my stbx was out smoking with our neighbor most of the time (she's a woman). He even was so kind as to knock the call button off my bed while I was in labor on his way out to have a smoke so I couldn't call for pain killers while he was gone. So kind of him.
We hadn't yet settled on a name, and when DS was finally delivered by C-section, he held him in front of my face in the operating room and said "what should we name him???"
Now, I'm glad he was excited the baby was finally born, but I'm totally drugged up, split open from hip to hip, and not really thinking about baby names at this point in time.
I spend 2 nights in the hospital recovering from surgery, and stbx uses up all the frozen meals i had made ahead of time (for ME to use while learning to be a new mother at home) to feed his family that was visiting. How thoughtful. Offering his family home cooked meals. I was such a lucky lady!
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boobaby
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(Platinum)
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07/04/08 02:08 PM
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68.239.20.72
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Re: Measure of a man...
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For the birth of my second daughter my ex actually dropped me off at the hospital and said to call him when I was ready to deliver. The nurse couldn't beleive that he was leaving me there by myself. Guess that should have been a red flag.
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liberated
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(Platinum)
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07/04/08 02:42 PM
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75.54.81.103
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Re: Measure of a man...
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[quote]For the birth of my second daughter my ex actually dropped me off at the hospital and said to call him when I was ready to deliver. The nurse couldn't beleive that he was leaving me there by myself. Guess that should have been a red flag. [/quote]
Amen! Red flags abound in hindsight, don't they?????
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lettinggo
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(Platinum)
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07/04/08 06:35 PM
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75.129.106.239
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Re: Measure of a man...
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I just don't understand why the heck we never saw these "red flags" early on? Jeesh...could of saved ourselves A LOT of hurt and heartache!!!
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Clementine
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(Platinum)
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07/04/08 07:50 PM
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68.83.185.78
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Re: Measure of a man...
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I missed alot of the flags too w/ my stbx but it is sweet that some Dad's treasure that moment as much as I know me as a Mom does. It really is a miracle.
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malone
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(Platinum)
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07/05/08 07:05 AM
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219.89.52.241
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Re: Measure of a man...
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Mine was there for both of the births and he visited all the time. :-(
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pjgj13
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(Platinum)
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07/05/08 11:01 AM
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24.152.220.11
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Re: Measure of a man...
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No kids here but I guarantee that I would have been there from the check-in until all was done. She would have been the 1st to hold the baby and I the 2nd.
Oh well, maybe the right person will come around and I still can do it......
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