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Can STBX question where the child support is used?
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My STBX has been recently asking our daughters "if they ever see any of the money he pays their mother". My daughters are 22,20 & 17. Obviously he doesn't pay support for the oldest but the younger two he still does. Does he have any right to know where the money is spent? It has been used for housing food and essentials.
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gigi
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(Platinum)
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06/11/08 04:25 PM
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68.110.66.68
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is used?
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No. He has no right. Tell the girls that it's more expensive to live in a house that has them in it, that you buy more food, need a larger home, buy more clothes and have to keep the utilities (a/c and telephones, for example) working harder than if you were just one person in the house. Tell them that this is what child support is for, not for gifts for them, not for you to have to make an accounting, item by item, of what you spend it on. Without the support, they'd not have that nice house they live in, they'd have lived in a much smaller place in a not-so-nice neighborhood and their lives wouldn't have been so great all around. If the state wanted child support to be all about giving them THINGS, while letting them live in a bad neighborhood because that was all thier mother could afford, then it wouldn't give the mother a lump sum without asking for an accounting, would it?
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is used?
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An accounting of child support can be reqested depending on the state . 10 states allow an accounting for CS , they are Colorado , Delaware , Florida , Indiana , Louisianna , Missouri , Nebraska , Oregon , Oklahoma & Washington . Alabama also authorizes accounting under specific circumstances .
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gigi
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(Platinum)
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06/11/08 05:47 PM
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68.110.66.68
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is used?
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Yeah answerguy, but even when there's an accounting, it's not going to be as cut & dried as having the kids report to Dad (or having MOm provide a list for Dad) how many gifts or clothing Mom bought for them in any given month. THAT is simply not the purpose of child support.
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juliacinaz
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(Platinum)
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06/11/08 09:25 PM
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68.2.56.129
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is used?
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No...he does not have the right to ask the kids that. Or to ask you what you use it for. It is money for you to use to support your child. Like I get enough for even that anyway! He needs to bugger off. Just my opinion.
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KGrow
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(Platinum)
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06/11/08 09:35 PM
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24.8.144.220
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is u
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I don't think there's anything you can do to prevent him from asking. The "children" are certainly old enough to handle this sort of conversation.
I personally don't blame him for being bit impatient about sending support payments for a 20 year old to her mother.
When it comes down to it though, you don't need to feel obliged to answer.
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melanie14
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(Platinum)
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06/11/08 09:38 PM
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12.218.148.0
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is u
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tell him you're saving up to go to the Bahamas! It's none of his business!
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is u
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Actually I am in the process of downsizing because he won't help me pay the back taxes on the house. So we do have to move into something smaller. And, at a time when my girls are coming and going between home and college. So I still need space for them at home.
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numbnms
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(Platinum)
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06/12/08 02:23 PM
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65.81.100.202
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is u
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He has every right to ask, just like you have every right to not answer. It doesnt sound like you are abusing the CS system so what is the problem? I personally would feel obligated to ask my x where she spends the money if I am still having to buy all their clothes, pay for the extra activities, etc etc etc while driving a 10 year old car and she is sporting around in the latest fashions driving a new bmw. That is an exterme example but you really didnt give us any specifics to judge from. So again to answer your question "does he have a right?" sure he does but only a court can determine if you have to supply an answer.
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EZmark
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(Platinum)
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06/13/08 05:24 PM
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64.178.162.154
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is used?
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"An accounting of child support can be reqested"
Reality = good fking luck. Unless she is provably buying [censored] for her BF and willing to admit it there will be no accounting. Not in todays family court. If you must file pro-se, don't waste money on a lawyer.
IMO CS should be deposited into a trust account and used only for the purposes intended. Some for shelter, food that's common. The rest for appropriate and necessary items for the CHILDREN. If not enough there's proof. If too much the kids get gifts or a savings.
Another case of lets just trust her to do what's right with the money because she's a mom.
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Re: Can STBX question where the child support is used?
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[quote]Yeah answerguy, but even when there's an accounting, it's not going to be as cut & dried as having the kids report to Dad (or having MOm provide a list for Dad) how many gifts or clothing Mom bought for them in any given month. THAT is simply not the purpose of child support. [/quote]
>>>>>>>> She asked a question , I replied . If she lives in any of the mentioned states he can request an accounting and will be expected to provide one . If she doesn't live in any of the mentioned states she's free to tell him to " pee in his hat " .
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