| bigk |
| (New) |
| 02/15/08 11:21 PM |
| 76.119.94.97 |
thinking of getting out
|
I have been married for 17 yrs and have 2 children 15 & 17 life here is lousy and I have been trying to cope with this for the last 5 yrs. Now I am really thinking of getting divorced. My house is always filthy and nothing ever gets done. My wife is a stay home mother and for some reason she doen't want to do anything anymore. I work from 60-70 hours a week to keep us going. Now I feel that it is all for nothing. What should I do. Both my kids are tired of the arguing and conctant fighting I don't blame them either. I think that it is time to end this. Should I? we own a house and I just cannot afford it anymore with me the only one working. I have asked t=her to get a job but she refuses. Can someone help me
| bigk |
| (New) |
| 02/18/08 10:53 AM |
| 76.119.94.97 |
Re: thinking of getting out
|
I guess that I wrote the first segment of this quite fast. Let's get down to brass facts. My wife has been a stay at home mom since we have been married. Before I thought it was a good Idea because I have a good job that pays well and have a second job as well. I know that I am away from home a lot but with the economy that way it is I just cannot help it. I have tried to make it all up to the family but my children are the only ones responding to any affection. There has been no sex life in the last 3 years.And anytime I go near her she just pushes me away.Sometimes I have wondered if she is having an affair but I really cannot tell. I have asked her about it and she just stated I am crazy. We go away on family vacations and she is always distant to me and the kids while we are away. I have gone to counseling alone because she refuses to go. I am trying but I fell that I am totaly lost and fighting a losing battle. Am I right? I am only looking for advice I have already informed my children want I maybe be planning to do and they want to live with me if in fact this happens. What should I do? Please I am l;ooking for advice. Can anyone out there help me?
| Sarah1014 |
| (Platinum) |
| 02/18/08 11:06 AM |
| 24.1.90.49 |
|
Re: thinking of getting out
|
I would get out before you owe permanent alimony. You're already going to owe it, but probably not permanent.
Your wife has gotten lazy because you are carrying the load plus some.
If you don't see things changing, I would pull the plug before it's too late.
Try to get her employed first. Does she have an education/skills?
What state are you in?
I believe your kids can choose who to live with at this stage of the game, but read some of gigi's posts on this.
| WolRon |
| (Platinum) |
| 02/18/08 11:07 AM |
| 66.242.81.47 |
|
Re: thinking of getting out
|
Is your wife obese?
----
Quit your job(s) and start working at McDonalds (or something similar). If she wants to live the good lifestyle but not contribute, then she's using you.
Tell her she needs to get out and get a job,
she has no choice,
either it's to help support the family,
or it's to support herself because you will leave her.
Either way she has to get a job.
Hope that she picks the former ultimatum (support the family).
Note that if she does get a job, you will have to do more around the house...
| bigk |
| (New) |
| 02/18/08 10:39 PM |
| 76.119.94.97 |
|
Re: thinking of getting out
|
We live in Massachusetts and I know that the laws here are much different than in other states. I have already told her that she has to and get a real job but that has not frighten her any. So now it is my children I am worried about. One 17 the other 15. The 17yo will be 18 in july and the other just turned 15. Will they have a choice in where they want to live? I know that I cannot work 2 jobs anymore it is taken a toll on my life and my health. I do know that my kids are concerned about me because they tell me all the time dad are you ok. My son said to me the other night I will understand if you leave and I don't blame you either you seem to do everything around here. So I guess this is where I am right now really thinking about going through with it because there is just no hope I guess.I having been trying to make this work because I do not want my children hurt about it either. I have tried to get her to counseling but to no avail. Feel so lost now and really do not know what to do.
| Samsung |
| (Platinum) |
| 02/18/08 10:50 PM |
| 75.163.22.235 |
|
Re: thinking of getting out
|
I'd do a couple things soon. First, I would quit the second job, even if you can't make ends meet. Your health is more important. Secondly, see a good attorney. Good luck.
| bigk |
| (New) |
| 03/29/08 11:16 PM |
| 76.119.94.97 |
|
Re: thinking of getting out
|
Well I finally did it I got a lawyer and she has been served papers. In her eyes she thinks it's a joke. She thinks that I cannot live without her well I have news for her. She said that she is not going to answer the papers so i guess that I should not have any problem. at least I think I will not. Can someone answer this question? What will happen if she does not answer these papers? Will she be in default?
| Cathie |
| (Platinum) |
| 03/29/08 11:42 PM |
| 72.221.70.197 |
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Re: thinking of getting out
|
i have no clue...i'm in RI though...and i was married for 16+ years...and got left for OW...i have yet to file...my dad is getting me a lawyer...i wonder if RI and MA laws are similar seeing they are so close together?
| Samsung |
| (Platinum) |
| 03/30/08 08:24 AM |
| 71.214.159.236 |
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Re: thinking of getting out
|
She will be given several opportunities to respond, but if she refuses, you will be granted a default divorce......it can't get any better or more inexpensive than that. Did you file with you as the primary parent to the kids? This is exceptionally important in MA.....CS goes to age 23 if the kids are in college, with the NCP often ordered to pay tuition/room/board in addition.