| trudyrudy |
| (New) |
| 04/02/08 11:50 AM |
| 166.82.171.178 |
Newly seperated
|
Hello everyone. I found this site by searching for something else pertaining to seperation/divorce. Well let me tell you a little about whats been going on.....and maybe someone can help. (or just a good slap will do) I'm 35 yrs old, been married for 10 yrs to a very lazy man. He's had jobs off and on for the whole time we've been married. He'll keep them a month then quit. When we go married we both wanted children and we tried for a long time. I found out later I have poly-cystic ovarian disease, and can't have children without help from pills. When he found this out, he kind of slacked away from wanting kids. I told him what the doctor said that she wants me to have kids, then have both ovary's removed. A few weeks ago I told him I want kids, well he didn't say anything. Last week he got in my face and told me I dn't want you to be the mother of my kids. That hurt I felt my heart rip apart.
Ok now you know that part. Now to this....Two months after we were married in '98 we seperated. He moved home to this his parents, he'd call off and on saying that we would get back together and all this. Well then one day the seperation papers showed up. We were seperated for 6 months, then he wanted to get back together. We went to counseling and everything was going great, and has been till a few months ago. He has been distant. Then about a month ago, he started telling me he was going to go to his parents to look for work. He'd be gone a few days then would come back. Last night he wanted to know if we could go to his parents house, I said yes, and he said leave me there i'm going to look for work. I said so you are leaving me? He said yes I am......I can't take this anymore, my heart and my emotional state can't take it. Seperation is hard enough, but he's making this harder, cause he keeps coming back.
Once we divorce I don't think I can ever date again or get married again. I can't handle the pain. I want kids....one way or another I will have kids, even if I have to get artifically insemanated, I will have kids.
But back to the seperation....does anyone know of a good couseler I can go to? Even by myself, I'm so depressed, all I want to do is lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I'm in the Charlotte NC area, if that helps. Sorry for my going on like that, I just need someone to talk to.
| Sarah1014 |
| (Platinum) |
| 04/02/08 11:59 AM |
| 24.1.90.49 |
|
Re: Newly seperated
|
Wow, definately move on, but forget about kids, ok?
You need to get your own life settled before you bring kids into the mix. They deserve a happy home and are more work and money than you realize.
First things first: Get rid of that bum and get yourself healthy.
Sorry that I cannot help you regarding a counselor.
| trudyrudy |
| (New) |
| 04/03/08 01:02 PM |
| 166.82.171.178 |
Re: Newly seperated
|
Thank you Sarah.....I'm taking it one day at a time. It's just so hard right now. I guess I need to get a dog. Something that he would never let me have. I have 2 cats and he hates them too.......Atleast a dog, I can snuggle against at night. And not worry about having to put out.
| ttina |
| (Platinum) |
| 04/04/08 02:25 PM |
| 64.12.117.143 |
|
Re: Newly seperated
|
I'm in NC too, but in the triangle area. I do not know of any councellors. But I just wanted to give you a big ole hug. Find a direction in life. Be it a puppy or hobby. I had my son to focus on and that got me through. Now that things have settled, I find I am alone on the weekends. (all the kids are at their other parents and my hubby is in retail so he works every weekend) I find myself falling into a depression with nothing to do. I stay in my jamas and veg out... which every once in awhile is not a bad thing... I was doing it too often. I am now on volunteer lists for a local children's hospital. I get my kid fix and have a chance to make a difference to somebody who just needs a smile. Find your way of helping somebody worse off than you are and they will help you get out of your funk.
| trudyrudy |
| (New) |
| 04/05/08 11:53 PM |
| 75.190.169.243 |
|
Re: Newly seperated
|
Well I'm involved alot with special needs kids.......thats my interest..guess I'll be doing alot of volunteering with those groups. I gotta find something to fill the void
| steph1212 |
| (New) |
| 08/13/08 10:58 AM |
| 12.219.126.57 |
|
Re: Newly seperated
|
i am newly separated also. my husband and i had been married for almost six years. about 8 months ago he started hanging with a much younger crowd became less affectionate towards me and so on. i made the tragic mistake of seeking that in another man. it took only once with him to see this is not the answer. i did not tell my husband and threw myself into the marriage. he became more and more distant. staying the weekend at friends houses being gone until late several nites during the week. in april i notice the same number repeatedly showing up on the phone bill and confronted him. he admitted he was talking to a "girl friend" but nothing was going on. i told him either stop talking to her or he needed to leave and figure out what he wanted. he left and continued to call and etc. in june i told him it was time to either continue to divorce or come home and we work on it. after a long talk of me admitting my infidelity and him admitting he had slept with a friend around christmas and did have a relationship with the "girl friend" while we were apart even though he had denied it we decided to try again. two weeks ago he became distant again. i asked had he started talking to her again. he said she had called and told him she had cancer. and i was like how is this your problem. he then said he could not stop thinking about me being with that guy and felt bad i could forgive and move on and he couldn't. so he left again but not without saying i'm not saying in 3 months or 6 months we may be able to get back together but i don't want you to sit around and wait on me. and i wanted to say then why did you say that. my friends and family say i should not let him back. i should move on. but that so much easier said than done. i can't see myself being with anyone else. anyway.... sorry for the long post. how do i move one???