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STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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He started picking fights for silly reasons then suddenly filed for divorce. About 1 month later I found out he gave me genital Herpes. He won't talk to me but our lawyers have talked and I was told he is going to say I gave it to him -- which is total crap. I've never once cheated. My lawyer wants to sue seperatly for this but can I ever prove he gave it to me? Has anyone else gone through this?
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lrk1
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(Silver)
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02/23/08 12:27 PM
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76.5.121.82
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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My situation was similar. My STBX husband was caught cheating on me for years to a women that has herpes. I went through 3 different tests and all came back negative-thank god. There are tests you can take that will show you when you didn't have it and when you contracted it. You can try to enforce that he has the same tests done to show who had it first. I would think this would work, but not 100% sure. I would talk to your doctor or someone that works in a hospital lab and ask what kind of tests to take.
As fas as suing. That is the avenue I was going to take if mine came back positive. I am not sure how your lawyer wants to approach it, however I know that you can file a marital tort, which is a law suit. I would strongly urge you to do so. You will have medical and prescription costs because of this, and you can seek other damages.
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WolRon
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(Platinum)
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02/23/08 02:34 PM
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66.242.81.47
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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Just throwing this out there:
You don't have to cheat to get genital herpes. For instance, oral herpes (cold sores) can be passed on to the genital area. It is POSSIBLE that he could be right, but, obviously the odds are that he gave it to you since the only person you truly know that didn't cheat, is yourself.
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lrk1
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(Silver)
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02/23/08 04:06 PM
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76.5.121.82
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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I could be wrong, however when talking to the doctors and others I believe that Gential herpes and the herpes that causes cold sores are 2 different kinds of herpes.
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WolRon
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(Platinum)
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02/26/08 11:44 AM
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66.242.81.47
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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They are two different kinds of herpes, yes, but one can still cause the other (from what I understand).
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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Thanks for all the comments. Its true that there are 2 main types of Herpes. Type I is generally cold sores on the mouth but can also be passed to the genitals, Type II is also called genital Herpes. The first test I got was a scraping of a genital lesion (it was almost healed at the time of the test) and I was very relieved when it came back negative. But then when the lesion came back in the very same spot the following month I did more research and found a blood test that was 98 % accurate for both types. It was positive for both types in my case and I've never had a cold sore on my mouth to my knowledge - so I may have both types genitally . I've done lots of research but haven't found anything on the test that gives more of a timeline for when you got infected with the virus. That would be helpful to me if its possible. Please give more info about that.
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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Another new twist to my case.
My lawyer thinks we need to be very careful about naming her and accusing my STBX's girlfriend of sharing the Herpes. He says she could file a liable suit. Is that the craziest thing you ever heard? He said we probably can't make her share her medical records or get tested so we couldn't prove it.
To me the circumstantial evidence is clear and I don't see why we have to prove it.
We were all sharing body fluids and I'm the only one who didn't know and didn't have a chance to protect myself.
What do ya'll think?
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mrpat
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(Platinum)
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02/26/08 07:46 PM
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68.42.140.179
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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The best info I could find for you.
http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/accuracy_of_blood_tests.htm
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saamrodi
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(Platinum)
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02/26/08 09:08 PM
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24.32.252.253
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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They are the same virus, but different strains. Tests can differentiate between the two. They are different enough that when you get a "fever blister", it doesnt mean you have genital herpes. Different.
Sorry this happened, I can not imagine....I might be in the pen had this happened to me.
Do what you can legally on this...I sure would.
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KGrow
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(Platinum)
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02/27/08 12:27 AM
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24.8.144.220
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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What is you suing him over this intended to accomplish?
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lrk1
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(Silver)
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02/27/08 11:54 PM
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76.5.121.82
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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I will try to get you the test names. Just give me a couple of days. It is something like M11 and M13 or something along those lines. I know some people do not agree with you on the lawsuit, however I totally understand and I would actually go to another lawyer that is more knowledgable in this area, but I am not saying to get rid of the lawyer you have now, I would just make it 2 seperate things.
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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Regarding more info on time specific tests - Thanks, I'll keep watching for that.
Regarding what I am trying to accomplish with a seperate lawsuit for getting Herpes. Mostly for justice and also for a financial settlement.
To me its not much different than if someone had recklessly endangered my life by hitting me while driving drunk and causing lifelong damage to my person. I had the right to expect to be safe from STD's while married just the same as I have the right to expect other drivers to be sober and drive safe. Don't you agree?
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KGrow
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(Platinum)
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02/28/08 05:17 PM
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24.8.144.220
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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Yes, I understand. I'm glad you understand and can express it clearly. That will help you build a stronger case. I personally don't appreciate such litigation but there's a lot of it going on and it is often successful. Good luck.
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Re: STBX Husband gave me Herpes
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I don't appreciate the litigation either. I'm a mom and a grandma and very active in my church and community. As you can imagine this litigation is very embarrasing and humiliating to me. But you see, my STBX carries our health insurance, my job doesn't offer it. Since he gave me a lifelong disease I think he should pay my health insurance the rest of my life. The only way to get that done is a separate lawsuit.
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