| delirious |
| (New) |
| 06/04/06 05:40 PM |
| 207.224.21.31 |
Intro - New here
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Hello, to any Oregonians reading this, just a little intro.
I'm filing my papers this week after a 4 year separation and I'm a little anxious. Not that I don't want the divorce, it's just the whole legal finality of it. Does that make sense?
Anyway, just wanted to open up the Oregon board - hoping I'm not alone here......
| DaCa01 |
| (Bronze) |
| 06/04/06 11:23 PM |
| 24.21.241.115 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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Hi delirious,
I am in Portland also. You are not alone. This is a good place with a lot of great people that offer their support. I am new to all this. I have only been separated from my wife for a month now. We haven’t filed for divorce yet but it will be soon. I hope everything goes all right with filing your papers and you get everything worked out with the kids. I admire you for what you are doing. We don’t have kids so I can’t imagine how difficult it is. Wish I could answer some of your questions but I am sure there will be someone here who can.
Take care.
| delirious |
| (New) |
| 06/04/06 11:33 PM |
| 207.224.21.31 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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Thanks for the welcome! I've been reading a lot of others' posts and, even though this is a sad and rough time for everyone, it really does make me feel better that I'm not the only one having these issues or emotions. What is that, misery loves company? LOL Maybe we just like to feel like we're not on some phychological deserted island.
I hope all goes well for you - though I do have to say you can look at the bright side and know that you're lucky you two don't have kids in the mix. It would have been so much better had we figured that out before we had kids. Hindsight's always 20/20... Moving forward....
Thanks again for the welcome! And you take care, too, as best the situation can warrant.
| blindsighted1 |
| (Bronze) |
| 06/13/06 07:05 PM |
| 24.20.254.76 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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Wow, a 4 year separation. Ouch! I can't imagine. I found our April 29, 2006 that my husband was having an affair and my divorce will be final any day! Whoo-hoo! How's that for speedy?
I am out in Yamhill county near McMinnville, so a fellow Oregonian here.
I hope all goes well for you and that you have the strength and clarity to get through this difficult time!
| delirious |
| (New) |
| 06/23/06 09:56 PM |
| 70.57.122.241 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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Thanks for the encouragement - guess what - I still haven't filed!! LOL!! Little issue I forgot about with the house and my entitlement...that sort...then finals, then vacation, then life again....seems like filing the papers just gets pushed to the back burner most times. Too bad there isn't some commonlaw divorce after so long. :o)
Glad yours went quickly!!
| Gecko |
| (New) |
| 06/27/06 11:57 AM |
| 24.21.157.94 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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I've known several people who separated, but never got around to getting a divorce since the only REAL reason you would need to is to get remarried and nobody cares if you "live" with someone.
| scundra36 |
| (New) |
| 08/13/06 02:35 AM |
| 71.193.148.112 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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I have Had a horrible Ten year marriage, but I will do it all over to Have my two boys. Don't look at the negative . How blessed are you to have two beautiful children. It is tougher than hell having to put children through this kind of pain but sometimes divorce is the only way to save your children, And teach them how to have self respect and value themselves as good people.And its not ok to cheat or disrespect women. If I can teach one thing to my boys is that people and women are valuable .
| mentheboys |
| (New) |
| 01/18/07 11:01 AM |
| 71.36.101.60 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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Just a note from experience. Please for youre own sake and the kids do NOT assume that the ex will be nice and fair. I did that and was left in a poor spot but thanks to my parents we are getting along. If you have gone on ( seeing someone else he may bring that up in a custody dispute if that applies,,, that does not matter. the ex may also ask for everything and that you take the bills.. not fair make sure if you are the on that gets the kids that you have some stuff washer dryer fridge. My ex got all that but didnt need it ( was renting a furnished place from his attorney) Make sure he is off the accounts. You plan to keep and that it is stated the one person cannot charge on the credit of the other , my ex did that to even though he wasnt supposed to. he lied to his attorney and said it was his credit card. Not sure what youre situation is but protect yourself yes you can do this without being greedy.. Remember what you had before the marriage is yours.Everything should be split equally but sometimes in the state of mind you will be in at the time you may overlook that . I did all I was worried about was custody of my kids. If you need to sent me a note.
| left_behind |
| (New) |
| 01/29/07 01:24 PM |
| 74.60.110.192 |
Re: Intro - New here
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I am lost down here in Roseburg, OR. 3 weeks ago, out of nowhere, my husband walked in and said he wanted to separate and that he has been seeing someone. After 15 yrs. of marriage I had NO idea this was coming! I moved 8 times in those 15 yrs. to several different states because of his job promotions. But it was OK because I loved him. I could never get anywhere in a job because we never lived anywhere long enough. But it was OK because I loved him. Now he's off with his girlfriend, and me and our 2 daughters (14 & 16) are left to sell the house and scramble to put our lives in some sort of order. I need someone to tell me that everything is gonna be OK. Any words of wisdom are appreciated!
Thanks.
| 1narnara1 |
| (Platinum) |
| 01/29/07 05:26 PM |
| 67.189.211.122 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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I was left after 16 years. I have 2 children also. You are in for a fight. Roll up your sleeves and get it over with as soon as possible. Get yourself and kids into counseling. This is a miserable event. I knew nothing of my stbx having an affair for the last 11 years. I just cound out 2 months ago and he asked for a divorce 10 months ago. This is a rollercoaster ride from hell. I don't wish it on anyone. Hang in there. post, rant, ask advice here. It helps alot.
| clack |
| (New) |
| 02/01/07 12:31 AM |
| 68.106.8.223 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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Oregon courts have a general bias towards women. They dispense spousal support with complete disregard as to whether it's affordable. There is no real calculation for spousal support, so it's the whim of the judge that determines the final amount and duration.
Another really cool thing about Oregon's liberal domestic court system is that remarriage is not considered a "substantial change of circumstances" and therefore does not necessarily mean the end of spousal support.
I won sole custody of my kids and my wife continues to collect support from me....without having to pay a dime in child support....and SHE remarried two years ago to her divorce attorney.
What a great state to be divorced in if you don't sport a penis!
| daionara |
| (New) |
| 04/23/07 06:17 PM |
| 71.237.161.3 |
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Re: Intro - New here
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[quote]Oregon courts have a general bias towards women. They dispense spousal support with complete disregard as to whether it's affordable. There is no real calculation for spousal support, so it's the whim of the judge that determines the final amount and duration.
Another really cool thing about Oregon's liberal domestic court system is that remarriage is not considered a "substantial change of circumstances" and therefore does not necessarily mean the end of spousal support.
I won sole custody of my kids and my wife continues to collect support from me....without having to pay a dime in child support....and SHE remarried two years ago to her divorce attorney.
What a great state to be divorced in if you don't sport a penis! [/quote]
While I am sorry that your still have to pay spousal support after she's remarried, I am glad to hear that Oregon does award spousal support.
Hi y'all. I've been with my husband for 7 years, married for 5 (we just had our 5th anniversary a week ago). I got an e-mail from him last night announcing that he's filed for divorce and has found someone else. This came out of the blue as only a couple hours before I received that e-mail, he and I were on the phone with each other and "I love you", "I love you too" were said. I had no idea he was unhappy.
So now, I am going to be asking for spousal support. I gross roughly $1000-$1200 a month. He is a long haul trucker and has the potential (as the records will show) of making that in TAKE HOME pay, per WEEK. I think the least he can do is pay into this household that he destroyed. Some might say that I should get a better paying job. This is the ONLY place that hired me after searching for 3 years. I have substancial physical limitation and I'm Bi-Polar.
| UpTheCreek |
| (New) |
| 01/16/08 01:20 AM |
| 71.117.211.25 |
Re: Intro - New here
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I too am in Oregon. I have been married 19yrs and am currently in couples counseling. Our marriage has been troubled a long time, communication is the main thing. Now my husband is going to church and will do anything for the church and things at home go neglected. He has never connected with our kids, which we have 3, the oldest is 18. Youngest being 13, middle one 16. I have been a stay at home mom all this time, our kids are good kids not in trouble and are doing well in school. My husband is threatening me with divorce and I am so tired of him holding this over my head. I am worried about having nothing, we have a house that does not have much equity in and credit card bills. I do not want to be living in a box, I could not afford the house payment because I can no way make the amount of money my husband does. Our kids have already told me they would never live with him. I know the standard of living goes down with a divorce, but how much farther down than nothing can one go lol. If he does file for divorce, I will contest it. Anyway, long story but I do relate to you that are scared. I have been on an emotional roller coaster for quite a while. I am considering suggesting we sell the house to afford two apts. and separate. I know he will have to pay child support, and I would hope spousal support since I devoted all that time to running our household. I am so confused now and just want resolution. I deserve someone who will love me and give me the emotional support I need. I do not and have never got that from him. He thinks all he has to do is work and support the family, I get stuck doing inside AND outside work. I am miserable, and misery does love company. Thanks for listening to me babble.