| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/08/08 08:53 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
postnuptial agreement
|
Hello everyone,
Very short, in your opinion is it smart thing to do -to sign a postnuptial agreement, with business owner husband, while I'm stay at home mother of 4. He wants to divide everything in half, in case of divorce. But I'm almost possitive if divorce would happen, I'd get probably more that 1/2 of everything, because kids would stay with me.
What is your advice on this one? Is he being "practical" or just big dirty pig?
Thank you all.
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 09:15 AM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
[quote]Hello everyone,
Very short, in your opinion is it smart thing to do -to sign a postnuptial agreement, with business owner husband, while I'm stay at home mother of 4. He wants to divide everything in half, in case of divorce. But I'm almost possitive if divorce would happen, I'd get probably more that 1/2 of everything, because kids would stay with me.
What is your advice on this one? Is he being "practical" or just big dirty pig?
Thank you all. [/quote]
Uh, I don't think he's being a big dirty pig. If he were, he would be trying to get you to sign a postnup where he gets everything if a divorce should happen. What he wants is for it be split evenly.
And if you are in a community property state, that is exactly what would happen.
If you do go ahead with a postnup, be sure it addresses how the marital debt is to be handled, as well.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/08/08 09:52 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
We live in equitable distribution state. Thing is he wants to protect his business, from who - me? I've been raising family, taking care of everything while he's babying his business and growing it. It just makes me mad. And how about that - now his business evaluated one price, and it grows very fast since its really successful one. Lets take worst scenario - if I sign a postnup and divorce happens I only get what I sign for 10 years ago, or so. I don't see it fair at all. Does not look to good. And besides all that, his intentions are not very bright, because he wants to divide our marital house 50-50 and then later, as soon as I'd sign a postnup, he'd go ahead and purhase a huge mansion, but just on his name on the title. In case of a big mess, he walks out with that property, 1/2 of present and all that heavy bag of dough, he'd make in the future. As for me - I'd just take my 4 kids , take 1/2 of all we had back then, bow and dissapear.... No, it's somehow makes me puke when I think about this being fair.
In addition - we're married 5 years, 4 kids later and tons of money(it's all in business, and I don't see it anyway) my husband changed to the worst side. Money hungry type.
| ATVILLAS |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 09:58 AM |
| 74.233.153.51 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
Just have a lawyer look it over, if he has a hard time accepting that it would raise a red flag in my opinion.
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 10:11 AM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
It doesn't work like that unless you agree to that. The postnup that you would be signing isn't going to split the assets now. It's only going to address how ALL marital assets are split should you divorce. Any asset purchased during the marriage, even if it is only put in one spouse's name, is subject to the postnup. Which means that if he goes out and buys that mansion and just puts it in his name while you are married to him, he will have to give you half the equity in the mansion should you divorce. And if he doesn't agree to that, then don't sign it. And definitely take any postnup to a lawyer before even considering signing it.
| KGrow |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 10:55 AM |
| 24.8.144.220 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
Clearly you have reservations about this proposed agreement. Has he given you any incentive to sign? What do you think will happen if you refuse to sign it?
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/08/08 11:38 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
He stated very clear - if I don't sign -he imidiately files for divorce.At this point he has two paper work waiting, postnuptial and papers ready to be filed for divorce, what a great pitbull lawyer he has!
Should I go ahead and share my life with person like that at all? I a.m in very sad situation here, I wish I would not feel anything for him, would be way easier
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 12:19 PM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
[quote]He stated very clear - if I don't sign -he imidiately files for divorce.At this point he has two paper work waiting, postnuptial and papers ready to be filed for divorce, what a great pitbull lawyer he has!
Should I go ahead and share my life with person like that at all? I a.m in very sad situation here, I wish I would not feel anything for him, would be way easier [/quote]
Wow, I know what I would do if I were in your shoes. And that is let him file for divorce. In an equitable distribution state, you would probably end up with more of the assets, child support and spousal support. And he would end up with more of the debt.
And he knows this. His attorney knows this.
That's why he said what he did. He's trying to bully you into signing. Don't. Especially if you haven't had a lawyer look it over.
| ATVILLAS |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 12:34 PM |
| 74.233.198.45 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
In that case I think you need to get a lawyer, if he files divorce you will have to anyway. So go ahead and get one now and have him review the "postnup" and explain to him the position your husband and lawyer are putting you in. You might even be able to get a 1/2 hour free session just for him to review your situation.
Best of luck
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/08/08 03:13 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
Thank you for your advices. As for lawyer I got one, supposed to be good.Better be, because I really need to see all the picture, how low can my husband go.
I just did not get something - even if I would sign for some reasons, and my husband buys another property or house after the day we sign the postnup, in case of divorce I'd be still able to get part of it, or it will be untouchable? What if his parents make it a gift for him?
All this situation sucks...:( But thanks for talking, makes me feel better:)
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 03:44 PM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
[quote]Thank you for your advices. As for lawyer I got one, supposed to be good.Better be, because I really need to see all the picture, how low can my husband go.
I just did not get something - even if I would sign for some reasons, and my husband buys another property or house after the day we sign the postnup, in case of divorce I'd be still able to get part of it, or it will be untouchable? What if his parents make it a gift for him?
All this situation sucks...:( But thanks for talking, makes me feel better:) [/quote]
None of us here knows what the postnup says. Take it to an attorney and ask these questions. What you need is legal advice.
| allthumbs |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 04:26 PM |
| 76.21.84.87 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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I fail to see why you should sign anything. If you want to divorce him, go ahead. If he wants to divorce you, let him. The laws of most states are pretty clear on division of property, child and spousal support. And since most states are no fault, then there's no reason to go into that either. You'll get half of everything, including the value of his business plus child and spousal support. Maybe more if he is wealthy. Just say no.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/08/08 05:30 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
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Re: postnuptial agreement
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That's what I have in my mind, I'm rolling to attorney's office next week, made an appt., and we'll take it from there. Funny thing is how my husband talks tough, but looses sleep over all that, and I know it is not because he wants to prevent divorce...It is all about money. Sad.
I just rethink scenario IF I sign- he already thinks as I'm a housewife, you know , life as a dream, just a thought I would obey to this crazy request, 4 kids later, really kills my self respect. But how to throw all the feelings quickly - I don't know, it's just hard... Well enough whining I have to get ready for upcoming battle anyway.I'm just wondering if it's really that scary to become single again...
| theanswerguy |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 05:31 PM |
| 64.12.117.143 |
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Re: postnuptial agreement
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Was the business started during the marriage ?
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/08/08 05:45 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
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Re: postnuptial agreement
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2 years before we got married. Do you think I'd get a piece from it? I never could see this all mess coming, don't have much of a knowledge about who gets what,ect.Well..
| Samsung |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 05:52 PM |
| 68.191.146.88 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
"In addition - we're married 5 years, 4 kids later and tons of money(it's all in business, and I don't see it anyway) my husband changed to the worst side. Money hungry type."
I can't say what your husband is like, since he isn't posting here. But you say he makes wads of money, and 1/2 isn't enough for you....I'd have to say you are more money hungry then him.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/08/08 06:50 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
Absolutely not true. I'm just concern about my and my children's future. I have two children from previous marriage and two with him. So you can call me money hungry, but my concern is different than money. Who would take care of two stepchildren? That always was and will be just my responsibility. As for him - his hands will be open, and he'll have a good chance to support himself.
Besides that, all this time I was working for free anyway, so no offense but I would not mind to take what I deserve.
| theanswerguy |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/08/08 08:36 PM |
| 64.12.117.143 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
2 years before we got married. Do you think I'd get a piece from it?
Unlikely , unless you can prove an increase in value due to your direct contributions . Spousal support(even if only temporary ) , child support & an equitable share of the marital assets will have to do .
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/08/08 10:46 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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So far I just feel that I'm loosing all the point even to consider signing something, emotions sooner or later would overcome and we would end up probably with divorce anyway... I just can not take the pressure. Not from person I've considered my "better half". Not anymore...
| KGrow |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/09/08 09:21 AM |
| 24.8.144.220 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Nuptial agreements are fragile. One signed under duress can be easily invalidated. Sign or don't sign. I think ether choice leads you to almost exactly the same place - a complicated and contentious divorce.
Have you tried changing the channel on this? Money issues are just going to drive you two apart. What is it that could bring you closer together?
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/09/08 11:45 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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I tried to bring up everything what I consider most important - feelings, purpose of marriage, and finally the best thing what two of us have - our children. Appears we're not on the same page. Our conversations ends with very drie and point blank - whatever, or I don't care, just sign the postnup, and everything will be fine. I just really can not believe how can wealth affect some people. It breaks my heart apart . And we had very sweet begining - both worked our but-s of, trusted each other, shared everything we'd have, no thoughts about any prenuptials or so. And you know why - at that point we had just enough. Now I see what happends when money start pouring in between two people...Call me silly, for not knowing how to just shut up , sign pretend nothing happened and enjoy the life. I'm just not that type, I'm very direct and can't tolerate dishonesty, and I miss my husband from 5 years ago.
Is it wrong?
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/09/08 11:50 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Just to give you an idea - I don't have any credit cards (joined account), he just simply canceled everything till I sign( or for good...) All I get 500/week to manage kid's activities, babysitter, food, pets , ect.
And besides all that has enough steam to drop line such as - at least 3 ladies would love to take your place, that's how great your life is.... Who wants to switch with me?:) Thats obnoxious.
| JenH03 |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/09/08 02:51 PM |
| 75.84.55.129 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
"All I get 500/week to manage kid's activities, babysitter, food, pets , ect."
So you get about $2,000 a month from him to basically feed your kids and pay for activities and that's not enough? Why would you need to pay a babysitter if you are a stay at home mom? I'm assuming he makes your house payment and pays for your other day to day living expenses (utilities, cars, etc.) so how can that money not be enough? And as far as your other post about your 2 kids from another man, your current husband is not and would be under no obligation to support them if you two separate. Why do you not get child support from their father? That is who should be helping you support them. It is doubtful you'd get $500/week in CS and/or alimony if you left him. You'd only get CS for the two kids that are his, not all 4, and it's not very likely you'd get that much money per week, since it would be based on only two kids, and it's not likely you'd get anything but temporary alimony since you've not been married very long. You'll eventually have to find a way to support yourself.
I'm not saying your husband isn't a jerk for this whole post-nup or I'll divorce you stuff, but you have to have realistic expectations of what could happen.
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/09/08 07:02 PM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
[quote]Just to give you an idea - I don't have any credit cards (joined account), he just simply canceled everything till I sign( or for good...) All I get 500/week to manage kid's activities, babysitter, food, pets , ect.
And besides all that has enough steam to drop line such as - at least 3 ladies would love to take your place, that's how great your life is.... Who wants to switch with me?:) Thats obnoxious. [/quote]
Well, you can open a credit card account in just your name. He can't close what he isn't authorized to use.
And if your name is on the joint account, you can go and withdraw money from it.
And I would. And take that money and hire yourself a lawyer. Given his attitude, he's doesn't want to be married. He just wants to make sure he gets the settlement he wants before he files.
| Samsung |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/09/08 08:57 PM |
| 75.163.21.105 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
"Besides that, all this time I was working for free anyway"
I didn't realize someone would consider raising children a job, to be paid later. I've never considered parenting to be a job, but a privilige to be cherished and done to my best ability. Money has never been a part I've even considered.
As for the 2 stepchildren, they are not his financial responsibility. They are yours, and the father of those children.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/09/08 08:59 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Why I need a babysitter - definately not because I'm late from one salon to another, I have a little business myself, started it not just to be plain housewife. To make some money and put it a side for my children from previous marriage,since their bio father went down the hill with alcohol abuse,and I'm not that desperate to plea my current husband to put some money into their accounts for the future. And I things like doctors, my oldest modeling job,since she is still 15 - I have to drive her everywhere. We're runing pretty busy schedule, babysitter is a must in our case. But it is good to know different opinions as well, appreciate all of them.
As for accounts, and that bothers me, he closed everything we had joined together, and trying to keep me as short on a leash as he probably imagines. And not painting myself as an angel or mother earth - but I'm not a spender at all, don't remember when I had shopping damage for myself, that's why it hurts. It is all to make me drop the signature, and assure his easy walk away one day. Probably sooner than later. It's just my gut feeling, I'm just confussed, and don't feel like becoming a push over.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/09/08 09:11 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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I agree 100% - children is the purpose of life. I'm just being realistic - then why, even in the court systems, housewife's position is considered as a FULL time job? I do take it as a very responsible job -raising children,unless you would be a hands-off parent.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/10/08 08:23 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Too late... He filed for divorce...I'm stunned.
| Samsung |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/10/08 09:07 AM |
| 75.163.21.105 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
I'll tell you what really concerns me. Here are a couple small parts of your previous posts:
"we're married 5 years, 4 kids later" and "Kids - they absolutely support me and when he pushes me to sign - they are absolutely stunned how their father is over protective and hungry for his money. I don't think they even going to miss him a lot"
Do you realize, that no matter how dedicated you are as a parent, that you could lose custody with what you've done? Make sure you tell you tell your attorney exactly what you've said here, so they can do try to do some damage control measures.
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/10/08 09:40 AM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
[quote]Too late... He filed for divorce...I'm stunned. [/quote]
Get yourself an attorney. This was what he had planned on. He was just hoping that you would sign the postnup before he filed.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/10/08 09:52 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
I'm going to met with attorney next Friday, I guess will take from there. As for comment from previous writtings - what damage I've done, to whom? My children know about postnuptial, because it has been said loud, in front of kids. They just make up their own opinion about the situation. Should I still try to paint my husband as a very honest, genuine person? They see it , I can not lie to them, my husband tells if your mom does not sign - we will have to divorce! And he did. My gut feeling never lies...
| Samsung |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/10/08 11:09 AM |
| 75.163.21.105 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
Maybe I'm misunderstanding your posts. Haven't you been married for 5 years, and have 4 kids? Aren't they all then under 5 years old?
They should no nothing about any of it. If they heard about it, they shouldn't know what a postnuptial is, unless it was explained to them (and it shouldn't have been).
"Should I still try to paint my husband as a very honest, genuine person? They see it , I can not lie to them"
So, are you going to tell them your favorite sexual position? Or, how much you get paid on a job? No! Some things are not told to kids. What you may not realize, is that when you paint either parent in a negative light (even if deserved), it is damaging to kids. Go to google, and read about parental alienation syndrome.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/10/08 11:50 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Fortunately I have 15yr.old, 8 , toddler and a baby. As you'd assume older children fully aware of situation and understand more than I'd imagine. This hurts them. Besides he was trying all this time to be a great dad, but since he got married late in life - it is some lack of parenting skills, and he often lets his steam(built up over stressful businessman day) go on the kids, and sadly on the stepkids, older ones. This I can not tolerate, that's how we got where we are + a lot of other issues, sexual possitions has nothing to do in this case, I'd appreciate if this irony would be kept asside.
| jbar |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/11/08 01:32 AM |
| 68.88.73.218 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
===========================================================
...why, even in the court systems, housewife's position is considered as a FULL time job?
===========================================================
Because it was, one hundred years ago, when these laws were written. In those times a woman had no modern, work-saving conveniences and appliances, had an average of six children in the house and usually had to get up at 5AM to milk the cows and make breakfast for "the hands"! Politicians will never reform a law in any way which reduces any "giving" to anyone. This is because they consider the people (perhaps rightly) to be morons who never stop to think that the courts don't have anything, to "give" to anyone, until or unless they first take it away from someone else!
===========================================================
Too late... He filed for divorce...I'm stunned.
===========================================================
Well, you had it made and you blew it. Now you will find out in what way(s) he has protected himself and his assets.
You traded known security and his acceptance of his understood, and clearly agreed, obligations to you for the miasma of divorce and false visions of grandeur--all because of greed. In the event that the divorce is "bitter", and he believes that he was "screwed", I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/11/08 07:12 AM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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[quote]Fortunately I have 15yr.old, 8 , toddler and a baby. As you'd assume older children fully aware of situation and understand more than I'd imagine. This hurts them. Besides he was trying all this time to be a great dad, but since he got married late in life - it is some lack of parenting skills, and he often lets his steam(built up over stressful businessman day) go on the kids, and sadly on the stepkids, older ones. This I can not tolerate, that's how we got where we are + a lot of other issues, sexual possitions has nothing to do in this case, I'd appreciate if this irony would be kept asside. [/quote]
I am sorry that you are going through this and that your stbx is being a greedy jerk.
I would gather copies of bank statements, w-2 forms, tax returns and start putting together a list of the household items that are valuable. Take a picture of them and catalog them, make sure that the date shows on the picture.
Your stbx sounds greedy enough to have hidden marital assets or to start trying to do that.
| EZmark |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/11/08 10:57 AM |
| 76.110.222.166 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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"Besides that, all this time I was working for free anyway"
You are not entitled to leach off their father now because in the past you bore children and took care of them with his $2000 a month while he took care of you. You better figure out how to support yourself now. Go play your poor mommy card in court, it sounds like he was smart enough to have prepared to fight your greed. If half the time with the kids and half the assets are not enough I hope you get what you deserve, which will be a significantly less than half now after the long upcoming legalities. And keep up the alienation too, the kids will be better off with him when they get older and realize what you are.
You are a good candidate for mediation if he has already presented offers. Accept half in mediation. Make plan for re-entering work force and littles one's care WITH dad. Move on amicably for everyone's sake. Don't make your kids suffer through it.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/11/08 11:49 AM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Poor mommy card? That is quite sad expression. I might be stunned, but definately don't consider myself that low. I believe I did right choise not signing any postnuptial. And it is not difficult for me to be "poor but proud", that is how I was raised, so I rather keep my head up, get what I will get, and go on with my life. I could not live knowing my husband pushed me to my limit, and made me do something I'd later regret. On another hand I'm glad problem is solved. He can make someone else sign anything he wants.I'm done with ultimatums.
| KGrow |
| (Platinum) |
| 05/11/08 12:00 PM |
| 24.8.144.220 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Tired, I admire your grace here. You have a good head. Good luck. Let us know if you need any help with divorce issues. It sounds like it will be a bit complicated and contentious.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 05/11/08 03:54 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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thank you all guys, for support...I'll be back, to unwind...:)And get some good advices. And sarcastic ones as well:)
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 06/21/08 01:01 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Well, divorce sucks, big time. I wish I'd be tougher, but not I'm not. It was pretty hard to read these papers. Is it just me, or most people go through that emotional stage? It hurts somehow...I'm not sure how to deal with all that. The most important, we are divorcing over such a stupid issues, nobody cheated or did something really bad. It's just situation - more money, less trust... It's SAD.
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 06/21/08 04:21 PM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
[quote]Well, divorce sucks, big time. I wish I'd be tougher, but not I'm not. It was pretty hard to read these papers. Is it just me, or most people go through that emotional stage? It hurts somehow...I'm not sure how to deal with all that. The most important, we are divorcing over such a stupid issues, nobody cheated or did something really bad. It's just situation - more money, less trust... It's SAD. [/quote]
I was the one who filed for divorce and it still hurt to read the papers that I signed before I filed. It's normal. It's the beginning of the end.
And you are right, it was over a stupid issue. His greed. You can't change that. One day, he will realize what he has done.
In the meantime, you take care of yourself and your kids. And move on with your life.
| tired123 |
| (Bronze) |
| 07/10/08 08:43 PM |
| 71.187.178.252 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
|
thanks JADA..I'm doing my best, but it is kind of tough.
| ourhearts |
| (New) |
| 07/12/08 03:05 AM |
| 70.143.86.236 |
|
Re: postnuptial agreement
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Hi, sorry for the long post. This is like my life story these days. I am so glad I bumped in to this one. I work full time and make good money. See for last six months my husband (we have children from previous marriage, none together), pushing me to sign an agreement document, which he nicely put that what will happen to kids if we die, I liked the idea, but then he defined a divorce scenario too, where I freaked to and said why do we have this, are you planning for divorce, he said no no , it is just incase we part our ways. He has way with words, wraps things around. I told him I am very uncomfortable with this. So we had a fight, then it went away, after few months it came back again, I had same reaction, so we got into worst fight, he threatened me to file for divorce, and stopped talking to me for a month and asked his mom to cook and do things for him (BTW she lives with us(another problem)). I couldn' take the silent treatment, so I said OK let me see what do you want, I asked him few questions around his scenarios, but he didn't have any answers, he told me to talk to his lawyer who is preparing this agreement document which is actually a post nup. I talked to his lawyer and asked questions like my husband wants me to sign off my rights over his 401K, his life insurance, plus he wants me to sell everything and split everything in 50% and give to his kid right away, if something happnes to him, what will happen to me, she said she can't counsel me and I need to have my own attorney. I told my husband about it, then we got in to another fight, becuase now he says he can't trust me, he thought I will sing this document, so I asked him send me the copy of the document, when I saw it in black and white (so far it was all words), I modifed it to make sure it will be harder to get divorce, plus we both assign something for each otehr, so he again said no more deal and he is filing for divorce.SO here after six months I am getting divorce every other week from him, or he doesn't talk to me, or some other kind of abuse. SO FINALLY three days ago, I informed him honey don't worry too much anymore, just to make things easier on you, I am filing for the divorce. I finally head it with him, and I didn't sign anything.
Please don't sign anything, true reason will come out why does he want you to do this in the first place, if marrige is rocky then work on marrige, this is what I told my husband, save the marriage, don't run to save money, if that is what you are after than live with your money, your wife will leave you in a heart beat.
| Jada |
| (Platinum) |
| 07/12/08 07:57 AM |
| 69.115.64.195 |
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Re: postnuptial agreement
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First, if the two of you were to get divorced, the kids aren't going to come into consideration since both of your kids are with other people when it comes to asset division.
And he has been planning on filing for divorce for a long time, he just wanted to keep most of the marital assets. Did he agree to waive his interest in your 401K, life insurance, leave some to your kids in the divorce? Probably not. And if you signed it before he filed for divorce, he would be able to go after your 401K but you wouldn't be able to touch his.
My suggestion is to contact a lawyer (his attorny is right, she can't advise you. She's his lawyer not yours. At least she was ethical enough to let you know this) and file for divorce before he does. Put him on the defensive. If he wanted a divorce, he should have just come right out and said it rather than try to get a settlement that is not fair before doing so.
| ourhearts |
| (New) |
| 07/12/08 11:53 AM |
| 70.143.86.236 |
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Re: postnuptial agreement
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Yes he asked that he will sign off his rights too over my 401K and life insurance too, my bigger question was, since I really loved him, what are we doing for each other as caring spouses, his answer was well I am splitting joint account and house, reality is I put all my life saving in this house, he stashed away millions away for his kid, I trusted that we will be running home together, he makes 30% more than I do, but he got very expenive tast, so we spend lots of money in all kinds of stuff, plus my kids are gone 50% to their fahter, his mother and kid don't go anywhere, I work full time, but then I take care of whole house hold including his mother, they expect 9 course meal on the table every night. I am 40+ and very tired now due to all this physical and mental stress. So I was more what if something happens to him tomorrow, we have very little money in joint account which will be gone paying all the bills, plus house got zero equity due to market, so I will be lietrally pennyless and homeless, when his mother and kid will go to live with his other rich brother. It is not fair, humanity wise. This is why I had such a hard time signing the document, becuase it was against mrriage, I am filing for the divorce, it hurts, and yes it is for such a stupid thing, if you see we have everything, jobs, house, good kids, health, love everything, but becuase of his money saving act from me will make lose everything. I really feel sorry for the kids, they were blended like crazy, here actually adults has been the porblems, and children will suffer in the result.