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arh83
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(New)
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01/12/08 11:46 AM
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205.188.117.143
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where to start?
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I am dating this guy who is married and wants a divorce. I don't know all the details of their marriage but I'll share what I know. Basically, I'm looking for advice to try and help him get the ball rolling so that we can move forward with our relationship.
They've only been married for about 3 years and have 3 children together. He had moved out about a year ago for a little while but then moved back in with her because she was having complications with her last pregnancy. He was helping take care of their other children because she couldn't do anything. Anyway, they leased an apt together and he's the main person on the lease but her name is also on the lease(as a resident I guess). The lease isn't up until august. He said he's contacted a lawyer before and that he was told they couldn't start the divorce process while still living together. He hasn't spoken to a lawyer since. He obviously can't leave because he's the person who signed the lease and she is refusing to leave until the lease is up. I mean, why would she leave? He is still supporting her 100% even though she is able to get a job now. He really can't afford to continue to let her live there and get his own place because he would have to pay for everything. She wants a divorce as well but is being spiteful beause she knows she has the advantage.
There is more to the story, but if anyone has any advice on what he can do, it would be appreciated. Thanks!
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Samsung
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(Platinum)
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01/12/08 01:26 PM
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71.214.155.251
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Re: where to start?
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Advice? I'd run as fast as you can.
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Re: where to start?
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He said he's contacted a lawyer before and that he was told they couldn't start the divorce process while still living together.
>>>>>>>>>> A lie .
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Supercat
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(New)
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01/23/08 04:57 PM
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209.163.204.133
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Re: where to start?
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I agree with the others, his stories don't wash. Take a time out...at least until he gets his act together and can show you a divorce decree.
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JGMsDad
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(Bronze)
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02/01/08 06:48 AM
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76.30.109.248
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Re: where to start?
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This new love might feel wonderful. However, what you have described (and probably haven't included all of the details) is a tremendous amount of baggage. Why burden yourself. There must be many other great guys out there. I'd advise: move on!
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sb0113
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(New)
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02/02/08 01:19 AM
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70.196.36.114
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Re: where to start?
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Like PP said, I would run as fast as you can or what you just described is going to be you in 3 years!!!!
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maca21
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(New)
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02/08/08 07:40 PM
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69.151.100.40
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Re: where to start?
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I agree with the rest, RUN! Don't start a relationship with a guy that is still in one. Make sure it's over with the other girl before you get involved.
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arh83
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(New)
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04/03/08 06:21 PM
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64.12.117.143
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Re: where to start?
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I'm disappointed in this forum. I was not asking for advice for me. I know what kind of situation I'm in and I chose it. I'm trying to help him get this started because he has no clue what he is doing since he's never had to go through this before. As I appreciate the concern you guys have for me, that's not what I was asking for. Thanks anyway.
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faith4two
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(Platinum)
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04/03/08 06:28 PM
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66.169.163.142
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Re: where to start?
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If HE wants advice on how to terminate his current relationship, HE needs to seek it, HE needs to initiate it, and HE needs to make that happen.
You initiating that, whether he asked you to do so or not, ESPECIALLY with the information you're saying he has provided to you regarding filing while living together (completely untrue and a line of B.S. he's feeding you), is why people have responded the way they have.
The respondents here have not been insensitive to you, but given you very sound advice to keep YOU from getting hurt...
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mag
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(Silver)
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04/07/08 02:03 PM
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99.207.71.124
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Re: where to start?
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He can get out of that lease today if he wanted to. Tell him to talk to the leasing office.
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Re: where to start?
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run no wait move far far away quickly. You can get out of a lease. Even so he could file for divorce and she could stay. Bigger question is if he can afford the lease you think he can afford child support.
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arh83
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(New)
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04/23/08 01:57 PM
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205.188.117.143
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Re: where to start?
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I was in no way saying that the responses were insensitive to me. I know how our situation looks and sounds, but only we know how it truly is. Maybe I have lost my mind by getting involved with someone who hasn't gotten divorced first, but I did. I don't feel I need to defend my relationship, I came here for support and answers from people who know how it works. He's never gone through a divorce and I've never even been married. I've read a lot of helpful posts on here. I'm not doing all of this because my boyfriend asked me, I'm doing this on my own to help him get the ball rolling. I appreciate the lease comment. That is something we were unsure of, but he has talked to his leasing office and found out what he had to do. And as far as him being able to afford child support, etc...that is something that we openly discuss. I know what to expect, and I expect the worst. That doesn't make me love him any less. Thanks to the helpful answers!
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