It's getting to the point where it's hard to live the 'lie.' in April i did mention i am not sure we should be together and we've done individual and couples therapy since. But fact is she isn't getting better, isn't trying, and may not even be able to (so my guy has told me). My unhappiness is projected on her and she knows it. That is, the times she even remembers things. It's amazing what she forgets. I have been nothing but a caretaker for 7 years and though I admit she can't get the kind of care i have given her, maybe that's the problem and I haven't helped her enough and she needs someone to force her to get better instead of enabling her to sit here 24/7 and wallow.

Now that you have some background..do you think it's better to tell her i really dont see this working out in couples therapy where she will have the woman there for support? I'd also take a big hit as far as permanent alimony and I do want to get a feel for what she would be asking for. I dont have to worry about splitting any house proceeds as she has recently admitted I wouldnt even get the 130 I paid for the house 13 years ago since it's in such poor shape.