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makingit
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(Silver)
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05/28/08 07:37 PM
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76.22.232.241
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Help, I don't know what I'm doing.
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OK, my divorce is almost final and I know I shouldn't be dating yet, but I just can't wait any longer.
Having said that, I started dating STBX when I was 13, we got married at 21, and now I am divorcing at 33 b/c he ran off with a 20 year old that was helping with his youth group. He was a youth pastor. I have never dated ANYONE but him. I am honestly excited now that the hurt has faded.
I have gone out with this super nice guy twice now ( no kisses or sex). He calls a few times a week. I like him, but I am not just crazy about him. I would like to go out with other men if the opportunity arises, but it would feel like I am cheating on guy #1. Should I tell him I am going out w/someone else, or just not offer that info? Several friends are trying to set me up with people and I'd like to go, but somehow it feels wrong.
On a side note, even though I am not super crazy about guy #1, I find myself getting really down when he hasn't called in a few days. I check my e-mail way too much to see if he has sent me a message. I have no idea what I am doing. I am sure you all are going to say that I am just not ready to date, but I just am so inexperienced. I really have been feeling great about STBX and am realizing how much better my life really is. Honestly. Does any of this make sense. What is wrong with me?
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aspect
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(Platinum)
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05/28/08 07:57 PM
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66.160.216.207
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Re: Help, I don't know what I'm doing.
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You seriously need to enjoy the dating experience. Have you and the other guy talked about exclusivity? If not, then don't worry about it. Go have some fun. Date and get that out of your system. When you meet the right person, you'll not want to see anyone else.
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is it over
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(Platinum)
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05/28/08 07:59 PM
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68.154.249.78
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Re: Help, I don't know what I'm doing.
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Until you have the talk..about being exclusive, you are free to date others. There is a phase after divorce where it is flattering when anybody *likes* us, regardless of how much we like them back. Maybe you got caught up in that. Maybe he is a nice guy and you could really like him, but chances are, if he's the first one, it wouldnt be wise to settle right down anyways. Take it slow.. take time to figure out what you are looking for.
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makingit
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(Silver)
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05/28/08 08:01 PM
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76.22.232.241
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Re: Help, I don't know what I'm doing.
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Thanks my anti pearl jam friend. Don't you think he would be mad though if he knew that I went out w/someone else? NO? - and no we haven't talked about exclusivity.
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makingit
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(Silver)
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05/28/08 08:04 PM
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76.22.232.241
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Re: Help, I don't know what I'm doing.
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Thanks is it over! You are right about the flattering part. It feels so good for someone to call me beautiful and to say nice things to me - I think that is what I am really enjoying - just being wanted. -- plus he is really nice and i do want to go out with him again.
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aspect
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(Platinum)
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05/28/08 11:01 PM
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66.160.216.207
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Re: Help, I don't know what I'm doing.
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Tell him he has to bring you to a Toadies concert if he wants exclusivity. 
Until then, it's game on!
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