| Ang22007 |
| (Platinum) |
| 11/19/07 11:46 PM |
| 71.210.197.176 |
Things you want
|
These are the things I love most, or would want.
A date night that I didn't plan.
Good smells, I love cologne on a man.
Coffee in bed, not a big breakfast person.
Random flowers, a store bought bunch does me just fine!!
Touches, kisses, hugs, I love them all!
Cooking together, just great fun.
Holding hands while watching the sunset or the moon rise.
Things that I have done for him while trying.....
He wanted a huge 50.00 book, I suprised him with it.
Rubbing his feet at night to relax him.
Cooking him some great meals and teaching him to cook.
Putting his clothes out for the next day.
Hugging him as often as I can.
Making him lunches to take to work, leaving notes in them.
Leaving love notes and dinner in the oven for when he gets home from night working.
Listening to him!!!
We are trying, he has given me almost everything on my "wish list". I would love to see guy's perspectives, as one of the things we struggle with is him communicating his wants to me. Come on peeps, we are complete strangers, you can say "I just want my hair stroked" or "please read poetry to me"! I really do think that guys want most of the same things gals want, just won't voice it.
Everyone post, doesn't have to be about preventing, it's about people!
| Samsung |
| (Platinum) |
| 11/20/07 12:34 AM |
| 71.221.46.29 |
|
Re: Things you want
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Hugging him as often as I can.
Leaving love notes and dinner in the oven for when he gets home from night working.
These would be high on my list. Being romantic is very sexy!
| undecided 72 |
| (Gold) |
| 11/20/07 10:10 AM |
| 74.7.123.10 |
|
Re: Things you want
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Mostly I just want her to make me feel like I'm the rock in her life. I want that look in her eye that says "I'm sooo glad your home" (or "I'm home"). Sorry to be so vague, what I want can be communicated with any of the things on your list, or none of them. It's just that feeling that we're happy to have one another and we know that we can count on each other for anything.
| undecided 72 |
| (Gold) |
| 11/20/07 10:49 AM |
| 74.7.123.10 |
|
Re: Things you want
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From a guy's perspective (analytical): one of the problems of communicating your wants is it is a little like your mom telling you to say thank you, once it's been asked for, the act itself is diminished. It goes both ways, when I finally got clued in about my wife's unhappiness, I did everything on your list and still do, but I can feel her wondering if I am just responding to crisis, and it's not really sincere (it is). When she does something I ask for, like say "I love you" first, I wonder if she is just going through the motions. I think mostly when a marriage goes through trauma, you need patience, you should continue to express your feelings in ways that are honest and seem to get results, and gradually work on regaining that trust in the other person's feelings as well. Sounds like you and your husband are ahead of us so keep it up and stay positive, but I feel like we're on the road to joining you.
| numbnms |
| (Platinum) |
| 11/20/07 04:30 PM |
| 65.81.100.202 |
|
Re: Things you want
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I have to concur with Undecided for me it was the feelings not what was done. Unfortunately by the time I figured out what she wanted she was no longer had the feelings. I havn't given up hope but she has.
The things I wanted to feel:
I was the most important man in her life.
The love in her eyes when she saw me.
When I failed to accomplish something I wanted to feel that it was okay that I tried my best.
etc etc etc
I didn't need to hear I love you, I needed to feel loved. I didn't need to hear I desire you. I needed to feel desired. etc etc.
Men claim not to be as emotional as women but we just express it differently, the emotion is still there and to some extent we need the approval of our significant other. I got more from my ex subcontiously reaching over to hold my hand while we watched tv than a day filled with I love you's.
Or maybe I am just girly man. Who really knows for sure.
| lilsam |
| (New) |
| 11/21/07 05:02 PM |
| 68.203.207.27 |
|
Re: Things you want
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I find it helpful to hear things from the guy's perspective. I used to do things like leaving cute notes, etc. and I realized that wasn't quite what he wanted. He wants a different kind of attention. However, I don't feel like he's cluing in to the kind of attention I want. I need to hear nice things being said to me even if that's not what he needs. He doesn't get that. I feel myself emotionally backing away from him and a big part of me wants to just run away. It seems like we both want the same things - I'm not sure anymore - but meeting eachother's needs is just downright impossible right now.
| ATVILLAS |
| (Platinum) |
| 11/22/07 01:09 AM |
| 74.233.198.43 |
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Re: Things you want
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not impossible, just takes more time and effort!
| Ang22007 |
| (Platinum) |
| 11/26/07 01:18 AM |
| 71.213.138.46 |
|
Re: Things you want
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Wasn't sure who to concur with, but yes that look of love is the best! When you wrap your arms around the one you want to love and see it back, that's great!
Don't sell the other things short tho, do something else random in between, my H says I read his mind and gripe on the same day he planned to do 'that'!
I went antique shopping with my H and found the thing that he had been looking for forever! I found it because I was looking, we both had a smile on our face leaving.
Cheers,
Ang