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State Support Forums >> Illinois
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rubymae
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Reged: 05/14/07
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who leaves first you or him with children involved
      #106060 - 05/14/07 10:21 PM (24.166.25.139)
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My friend is thinking of divorce and she wants to leave. They have 3 boys and she doesn't want to loose them to the father. Does she kick him out or make it so he leaves first so she's not the one leaving? I told her to make him leave first. Is there an abandoment law if she does leave first? I know some states do?

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theanswerguy
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Reged: 04/12/07
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Re: who leaves first you or him with children involved [Re: rubymae]
      #106068 - 05/14/07 11:37 PM (152.163.100.69)
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In order to seek a divorce in Illinois, your divorce must be filed under one of the following grounds: No-fault; Extreme physical (2 acts) or mental cruelty; desertion (one year or more); Adultery; Impotence at time of marriage; Prior existing marriage; Habitual drunkenness or drug use (2 years or more); Attempts to take spouse's life; Conviction of a felony; or Infection of spouse with venereal disease.

If the parties seek a no-fault divorce, he spouses must have lived separate and apart continuously for a period in excess of two years and irreconcilable differences must have caused an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. The court must further determine that efforts of reconciliation have failed, and that future attempts at reconciliation would be impracticable and not in the best interests of the family. The court can grant a no-fault dissolution after a six-month separation of the parties if agreed to upon written stipulation. If the court feels that the marriage still has a chance of survival it has the power to suggest that the parties seek counseling. The court also has the power to order a mediation conference, where is can make a finding whether the marriage is irretrievably broken.

Neither party can force the other party out of the marital home without a court order granting them exclusive use of the home .

--------------------
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov


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MakeItRight
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Reged: 05/04/07
Posts: 54
Re: who leaves first you or him with children involved [Re: theanswerguy]
      #106144 - 05/15/07 02:18 PM (76.210.13.63)
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AnswerGuy,

You seem very knowledgable. Not want to switch the subject but in cases of college age children from divorced families, say the mom does not have a job (by choice) does the father have to pay for all of the kids' college expenses?


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theanswerguy
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Re: who leaves first you or him with children involved [Re: MakeItRight]
      #106259 - 05/15/07 10:48 PM (64.12.117.10)
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That would depend on the terms of your divorce and what you personally want to do . It is possible that you could be required to pay an equitable share of college costs ( yeah , mom has to pay too ) and CS until graduation but it's usually determined on a case by case basis .

--------------------
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov


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jersey girl
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Re: who leaves first you or him with children involved [Re: MakeItRight]
      #108398 - 05/25/07 02:14 PM (65.209.129.146)
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IL standard is that the parents are only required to contribute per their financial ability at the time, but college is not a given right, it is a choice by the parents. No judge is going to make them pay, but they might if the kids are already in college.

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redeemer7
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Reged: 06/25/07
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Re: who leaves first you or him with children involved [Re: jersey girl]
      #113645 - 06/25/07 01:38 PM (65.127.96.66)
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need help. my husband continues to tell me to pack up and leave. we are originally from va and were supposed to be in il for 6 months to work on things. i moved too quickly and 2 yrs later nothing is resolved. i have contacted an attorney but do not want to leave with our 3 month daughter. anyone in this situation? he is verbally abusive, has disfunctional past with previous marriage and reported job problems with a temper. now I need to prove this. his other children live in the same city in va. I would love custody of our daughter and allow him to visit anytime in va- it was our agreement to stay in va when we were married. there is a 20 yr age difference with him and i. i want the ability to remarry and have additional children. he wanted additional kids before we got married and now will not have any more. ANY ADVICE?? please help!!

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jersey girl
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Re: who leaves first you or him with children involved [Re: redeemer7]
      #113723 - 06/25/07 09:03 PM (67.163.86.184)
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Your divorce will be settled in IL, so you are going to have to fight to move to VA. You need to get to an attorney.

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KGrow
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Re: who leaves first you or him with children invo [Re: redeemer7]
      #113752 - 06/25/07 10:21 PM (24.8.144.220)
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I don't understand why you don't want to leave. Why don't you leave and go back to VA?

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infinity386
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Reged: 02/24/08
Posts: 124
Re: who leaves first you or him with children invo [Re: rubymae]
      #181060 - 02/24/08 02:47 AM (70.53.128.118)
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I'm surprised one of the Gal's have not schooled you. This is what I've known women to do. make sure there are no witnesses, start an argument and have it escalate to a fight. If he does not hit you just get grab him and force him to wrestle you or push you back so that you get bruised. The police will show up, just show them your bruises. Even if you don't have any bruises Just make false accusations of how he beat you. Tell them that you want an order of protection. They take him to jail. He wont be able to re-enter the house due to the order of protection. voila, The house, kids, and 50% of his income will all be yours.

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infinity386
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Reged: 02/24/08
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Re: who leaves first you or him with children invo [Re: rubymae]
      #181591 - 02/26/08 04:23 PM (70.53.131.146)
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have you friend take a look at this post.

It's a perfect example on how to get him out of the house. Hopes this helps (sarcasm)

http://www.divorcesupport.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/79552/an/0/page/0#Post79552


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